"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."

Monday, 8 November 2010

hearts are easy to break, hard to mend

tonight i had a Teach marathon.  tony danza, you know i love him, but he's not perfect.  and i know the show is edited, too.  but these kids are breaking his heart a little, and he's breaking some of theirs, and it's very emotional!  i totally understand where he's coming from, as a teacher.  i've said it before, that watching him struggle in his first year has made me feel like i really wouldn't've made it!  he is trying to connect w/ each of his students, and sometimes he succeeds, and sometimes he fails.  sometimes that failure is because - they're teenagers & a little moody.  lol  but occasionally it's because  he's falling into a trap i KNOW well.  i've fallen into this same trap many times in my babysitting days, and sometimes even at work.  it's called tipping the scales too far in the "friend" category, and not enough in the "boss" category!  

he & i both want to be liked.  it's almost a need.  i need to be liked.  not because i'm insecure, but because the thought that someone doesn't like me causes a physical hurt.  there's a reason someone doesn't like you, and it's usually because you've hurt them or done something to make them feel badly. (there ARE times *cough*evildawn*cough* when it truly is nothing you've done, they just suck as human beings.)

i don't want to hurt anyone or do anything to make them feel badly, and so when they don't like me, it hurts me.  and i see that in mr. danza, too.  he pours his heart out to his kids - even kids who aren't in his classes! - and when he doesn't see results, it causes him some pain.  

*sigh*  *HUGS*  

okay, enough of that!  i really enjoyed my Teach marathon, and even though my heart aches for his heartache, i think he'll be (or is) okay!  

and today was a GREAT day!  i woke up on time from some really odd dreams involving bret, boo, bran & bay, and a couple random ppl, a bank heist, a movie, a theatre w/ individual seats like those on the plane in The Wedding Date, secret passages, Adam Canty from highschool and his sexy voice (and eyes - that man has the coolest shade of blue eyes i have ever seen!)...  it was goofy but good!  

work was marvelous - ordered some tastefully simple , and yankee candles to support the Y's daycare program.  got a LOT accomplished.  not everything, of course.  *laugh*  subway for lunch was delish, altho my sandwich was not as tasty as it has been in the past.  i'm not sure what it was missing!  maybe pickles.  i thought about putting them on & then i got distracted by something shiny.  lol  

after work, my loan check had arrived, so i went to the bank to deposit it, went to hardee's for a mushroom swiss - which i ate w/o the bun so that i could enjoy a pumpkin pie from mcdonald's as well...lol i was celebrating! - and then mailed allllllll my bills at the post office!  i can't even fully describe the awesome feeling i have knowing i'm all paid up on my car, medical & lab bills (til my appointment friday, at least), interest on a CC & my school loan which is currently in forbearance, People magazine til November 2011, was able to send some $$ to QCCS... and i'll be able to pay mom back the $$ i owe her.  AND still have money in the bank, and payday to look forward to!  

which is good because my monitor has started blinking out & so i need to get a new one.  happily, i can get a lovely 15" flat screen for less than $100!  : )  i'm also TOTALLY stoked about christmas shopping!  and i do need to call the dentist.  

oh!  when i got home, i had 2 postcrossings as well as the check!  : )  

from sheila in great britain.  she lives in the area where the castle used for Hogwarts also resides.  how awesome!!  : ) 

from maria in finland.  this is an illustration from a finnish children's series about a dog & a cat who are best friends!  lovely!  

i need to get some stamps soon, too.  and i am as ever on the lookout for more postcards.  time to scour jana's fb albums & get some ordered, as well as do some hunting on etsy.  love love!  

and that, my dearlings, is all i have for you tonight!  tomorrow should be busy, and  hopefully i'll get to WM after work.  i need my Rx & a couple other things, and perhaps i'll do a little shopping.  i'm on the hunt for christmas blankets, peeps!  if you know of somewhere around here that has any cool ones, please do share that knowledge!  : )  

take care & be blessed.  ttfn!


  1. I love how you can relate to Tony and love how honest you are when you said you have a need to be liked. That is a natural feeling and one I know very well too! You have such a big and caring heart, I love that so much about you!!!

    I wish I had the kind of dreams you have :) I love reading about them!

    Congrats on being paid up on all your bills with some left over to enjoy, that is SO lucky! I feel like things have been SO tight as far as my financial situation lately :( UGH! But I know that God will ALWAYS provide no matter what!

    Sounds like you had a good day love :) Hope you have a great rest of the week!

  2. Loved the dream story! Those always are fun to read! :)

    Also, I know the feeling with the bills! It is so liberating! I am glad that you felt that too! It is truly a glorious feeling :) And huzzah for inexpensive, nice new computer screens! Bonus! :)

    but boo to dentists. not a fan.

  3. i was so not a fan of dentists when i was little, because mine didn't believe in novacaine - or, rather, believed in using JUST this amount & no more, even when that amount didn't work on someone...

    but then, in jr high that dentist retired & we had to find a new one. i'm still w/ that dentist today. he (and his new partner as well) is WONDERFUL! when i have to have work done, it's still uncomfortable, but they make VERY sure i don't feel any pain. : ) love them!

  4. i love writing about my dreams and am so happy to hear reading about them is enjoyable. more enjoyable than scary, anyway! heh. and God definitely provides for us! He's awesome!! : )