"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."

Monday, 31 January 2011

let's play that tune again!

gearing up for another SNOWSTORM.

this weekend was very nice, very relaxing.  started a new book yesterday & read 1/2 of it in one sitting!  One Dance With A Duke.  it's the first in the trilogy i won from brandi's site awhile ago, by Tessa Dare.  she's brilliant, really!  i will have to let andrea borrow it when i'm done, too.  : )  check out her site & watch the video.  it's great!  

i found Buck Rogers at WM for $10!!  the complete series!  i thought i was gonna marry gil gerard when i was little, i really did.  : )  i also got the first season of macgyver!  we watched the first disc last night.  my observations, from not having seen this show since i was little (other than the random rerun many years ago) - he lived in a planetarium?!  so cool!!!  i didn't remember him being quite so much of a fighter.  am curious to see if he gets less so as the seasons progress ... and also he makes science COOL.  heh.  love it!  

also, while at WM, i saw THIS:

parked right behind it, and immediately thought "COOLEST CAR EVER!"  yes, i'm a nerd.  i'm sooo okay w/ that.  : )  i kinda hung around a little longer than normal, hoping the owner of the car would come out, but they didn't.  alas!  i didn't take a picture of the back, because i didn't want to show the license plate, but the back was all space & 3 more ships.  awesomeness!  

today was an interesting day.  work at 7:30, very productive!  hooray!  got lots of claims in, and other than some problem-solving, that was pretty much my day.  i'd hoped to get some photos in, but i'll get to work on those tomorrow, so it's all good.  heh.  and ... *gasp*  i actually got to leave ALMOST on time!!  i'm celebrating that, because idk how long it'll last!  *laugh*  

it was snowing when i left, but still light, and really okay.  everyone was pretty much going slowly, which was good!  i stopped at hy vee gas for a diet pepsi & smokes, cuz who wants to be outta smokes if there's a blizzard?  not me!  then home to make a delicious dinner & watch NCIS: LA, NCIS, and BONES.  : )  bret's at his brother's playing games & hopefully having a great time!  

and then there's SNOWGATE 2011.  ugh.  i'm praying for NO BLIZZARD, because even tho it's a delicious treat from DQ... i don't want one.  *laugh*  anyway, depending on what snow does come our way (they were saying a foot, then i heard nearly TWO feet, so i don't even know anymore) i might be leaving work early tomorrow & stuck at home wednesday.  and someone mentioned the possibility of needing to shovel my roof?!  so, really, dear Lord, please let it just be a little sneeze of snow & not a great big ACHOO!  

i think that's all the fun i have for you today.  oh, i guess a couple more things - my friend jessica from elementary found me (and april & becks) on FB!  i love it!  : )  and, i'll leave you with 2 lovely cards i received in the mail - a postcrossing from the east coast & a lovely card and letter from micaela.  thanks, love!  also thank you to kaitlyn for the note, that was sweet!  : )  

ttfn!  stay warm & safe my dear friends!

Saturday, 29 January 2011

three men and a little lady

another $5 bin find at WM!  and it's really cool cuz bret & i were both excited about it, so we got it & are watching it while dinner cooks.  : )  speaking of dinner, bad food blogger that i am i forgot to take pictures as i made it... and it just doesn't look right after it's done w/o the context.  lol  but they are goooood!  made a sauce of white cheese & mild enchilada sauce.  mmmm!  we had fun shopping for everything, too.  i like going to the grocery store anyway, and he has fun, too, so it's good times!  : )  

before we went to the store, we went to RC's to pick up bret's car and then took it over to the old house to park it for the weekend.  i'll need to have words w/ the office on monday - i forgot last week, too much going on!!  *laugh*  and before we left the house, we watched Over The Hedge (which i liked better this time) and bret took a nap while i watched Royal Pains & caught up on a couple blogs.  

it was mostly a nice, relaxing day.  i even got to talk to leyton on the phone for a bit!  : )  

yesterday, last night hanging out w/ the boys was quite fun!  they have colds, tho, so leyton was a little cranky, but we had a good time & watched barney's circus (oh dear) and stuff.  lol  

anthony doesn't like to have his picture taken, but leyton got a couple... 

we played lots of toy story 3 kerplunk!  

i've taught him well - always reaching for the camera to take some pictures!  : )  

anthony also likes to be the taker of photos, and gets some good ones as well!  

i didn't get home til almost 1, tho, and went right to bed!  had some crazy dreams - one of them was about saving leyton from the zombie apocalypse.  really, very strange!  later, boo, bran & bay were w/ me in a house in the city, and we were trying to keep the zombies at bay.  thankfully my brain didn't produce any ACTUAL zombies, just the knowledge that they were out there & we were only safe in very populated areas.  yeah.  weird.  lol  

so, tonight will be this movie & maybe some more reading, and praying for a blessed day again tomorrow.  : )  i hope your saturday has been relaxing and fun!  love ya!  


Thursday, 27 January 2011

i sing along with richard marx

i do this because our voices harmonize well together, i love his music, and WOW singing along to richard marx makes me feel good!  i found a random 80's cd in my car the other day & popped it in ... i haven't taken it out yet, and have been listening & singing along & remembering a simpler time when i didn't have stress.  (except i think i did have stress, i've just repressed it, because when i talk about not having stress ppl tell me stories about bad things that happened that i don't remember.  do you ever wonder why the mind represses what it does?  i mean, i do remember plenty of crappy stuff that happened, so ... ya know?  anywhoo...lol)  

hold on to the night
wild wild west
get outta my dreams (and into my car)
wishing well
*announcer voice* and many more!  

today was crazy.  a good day, even so.  

7:30 start time. productivity ensued.  answered questions, helped w/ timecards and did vacations and finally put a dent in my error report!  hallelujah!  then it was time to go to the doctor for my diabetes check.  everything went fine, except a little attitude from the dr that made me growly.  there are a couple tests/what have yous that i'm not comfortable with, and so i don't do them.  i've explained my reasons and feelings to the dr before, a few times in some cases.  and yet, every time, every visit, she seems surprised and even irritated that i won't do these tests.  and today she was like, "you know, i'm trying to work with you here, but there might come a time if you don't follow my directions that i refuse to see you."  i was like, "uhh, what do you mean?  i do everything you've told me to do, except these two tests, and we've talked about why i don't want to do them."  she backed down, but it still kinda ticked me off.  don't try to blackmail me or bully me into doing something i'm uncomfortable with!  i'm taking my meds, moving more, eating right (i've lost 30 lbs since september, thankyouverymuch*raspberry*)... 

after that whole thing, i kept mostly cool, thankfully.  grabbed lunch & then went to my other doctor appt about my anxiety.  ironic, really, because i had to fight so much anxiety to even make it to the doctor to talk about my anxiety.  *laugh*  but it went well, for the most part.  i liked the dr, he wore a neat sweater and was really nice.  i wasn't too fond of the making me freak out so he could see what my anxiety attacks look like, however.  i didn't fully relax again until i was back at work, even tho he took care of the problem causing this anxiety.  thank God.  the amount of relief i felt when i finally did relax & let the fact that it's over wash over me... i still feel that relief... is monumental!  : )  even the stuff that had been causing me stress all week, i handled with ease and didn't get the icky feeling in my stomach - which tells me that i was even more worried about the whole parking incident than i thought.  oye!!

i helped some more ppl in the afternoon, sent some confirmations, entered some FRA's.  : )  and i left at 5:15, to meet michelle at applebee's.  YUMMMY!  (no photos for the food blog, which is a bummer because they would have been good.)  it was so nice to visit w/ my friend over a good and delicious meal!  

and then home to finish The Cat Who Went Up The Creek(soooo good, i think i'll pick up some other Cat books.  thanks, aunt janie!!), watch some Wipeout (oh, Winter Wipeout, LOL) and then Finding Forrester, which is such an awesome movie i can't even explain.  if you haven't seen it, please rent it straight away!  and i think it counts as a teacher movie, even!  : )  

TGIF tomorrow!  it's the first day i'm actually fully looking forward to in a long time.  after work i get to hang out w/ the boys over at mom's.  fun fun!  

and now that i've shared with you my day, won't you share a bit of yours?  : )  ttfn!  

postcard from stephen.  : )  he's now 7 1/2, enjoying school, and wonders if i'm coming to chase's birthday party.  idk if i am or not...i'd like to, but i just don't know if i can!

Wednesday, 26 January 2011

how can there be a "final" warning if there was never a "first" warning?

so, bret's car has been broken since december, i think.  he bought it from a guy & the guy was supposed to mail him the title papers, but he didn't.  so, you can get a new title if you have proof of purchase & $100, bret was missing one of those things - plus the paperwork, which you have to get one piece from the DMV and one from ... the post office?  that doesn't seem right... anyway, from somewhere else.

i'm not entirely sure on all the details, but just in the last week everything has come together w/ paperwork & money & whatnot & he's able to mail off the paperwork to get the title.  he hasn't been able to drive it until he gets this paperwork - and it has had a flat tire, but he hasn't fixed it yet because he's not supposed to drive it.

anyway, so it's been in the driveway, and it hasn't been driven in a month, it's true.  however, NO ONE from the office has said one word about it to me.  no one has asked me anything, no one has SENT me anything.  until TODAY, when they left a note on the door, apparently, saying FINAL NOTICE and that they were going to two his car tomorrow because it's "abandoned."  

you have got to be frakkin kidding me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so now i have to call the office tomorrow, to voice my displeasure.  if anyone had bothered to ask about the car, i would have explained what was going on & that we were working on getting it legal to drive.  it is MY driveway that i pay RENT for, for pete's sakes!  it's ridiculous.  

ugh.  and the whole irritation for me, is the fact of the "final" notice when it's the first i've heard of it.  i understand that broken down cars can't be littering yards & whatnot, making the place look like a trash heap.  i get the logic there.  however, not being able to drive your car does not make it junk.  or abandoned.  we live here, the car is here, how is that "abandonment?"  

*sigh*  just another stresser, right?  but it's not really my stress - it's just the stupidity of it that is irritating me.  

other than THAT today was pretty good.  : )  

bret didn't have work today, which was a bummer, but i made it in at 7:30, so that was cool.  got tons of stuff accomplished.  read at lunch.  had a nice uplifting text from marianne at just the perfect time.  (thank you.)  i EVEN uploaded 95 of the 500+ photos, AND left at 5!  of course, dinner w/ michelle was postponed til tomorrow...

tomorrow's gonna be interesting.  i have dr's appointments from 10 - 1.  am trying not to be anxious.  blech.  

what else can i randomly share with my peeps today?  have you see Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura?  gette posted an episode on her FB & i just paused What Would You Do? to watch it.  CREEEEPY!  i mean, i firmly believe that we as Americans have given up a lot of our rights & continue to give the government too much power.  but idk if i believe as far as this programme went!  i certainly would hope we as a ppl would be more logical than that, except i've seen how we're not, so... eeep!  back to creepy!

so, tell me about your day.  was it fun, frustrating, happy, sad?  a little bit of everything?  do share!  


Tuesday, 25 January 2011

(_ < _)

is it seriously only tuesday?  


it was a long day, but also a productive one, and really not too bad.  i mean, i made a really good salad from the salad bar at lunch.  except there must've been something in it that REALLY didn't agree w/ me, because i spent the afternoon having an upset tummy.  :(  thankfully it cleared out of my system after a couple uncomfortable hours...  blech.  and then at the end of the day i was getting really grumpy.  the fact that certain ppl don't seem to appreciate my workload, despite CHARTS i've made up for them (at their request, to "explain" why i'm working til 6 almost every night - oh, goodness, could it be because i have enough work for 3 ppl?  oh yes, that could be it) is really irritating, and makes me feel bad.  

anyway.  i was happy to get home.  also i was HUNGRY!  i made some pasta, and bret & i watched House, Chuck & Castle.  tho bret fell asleep 1/2 way thru castle.  heh.  sleep sounds good, actually, so i think i'll head there.  i didn't even go to the tap performance at HQ tonight because i just wanted to go HOME.  (which saddens me, because i always love the visiting artists & i was really looking forward to this one.  alas!)  

hope your day went well!  i'll leave you with the postcrossings i received in the mail.  love love!  : )  





: )  

bet you can't pick which one's my favorite.  ; )  


Monday, 24 January 2011

dream time

i did get a good sleep, and went in to work at 11:30, after stopping at WM to pick up my Rx.  one of them the dr refused to call in until i made an appointment.  i really should find a new doctor, but oye.  

my dream between 6 and 10 was intensely detailed and seemed to last for the full 4 hours.  it started in a line, and the line was moving really slowly.  i found it odd, because i had a memory of being in this line to get wherever i'd just been, and it had moved really quickly & efficiently.  i had a shopping cart full of my possessions and security ppl were "frisking" those in line ahead of me.  suddenly, there was a loud explosion and i could see a fireball just outside the door where the line disappeared.  then someone a few ppl ahead of me in line exploded, and someone a few ppl behind me exploded.  i felt something land in my hair, but the person standing behind me brushed it off before i could see/really feel it.  we were all herded into underground bunker type things, and we'd been handed papers telling us which groups we were to stay with.  my group consisted of 4 or 5 other girls & a couple guys.  we were in a room, around a table, kind of like a discussion group, but we all had shopping carts/suitcases full of our stuff, and we were talking about what had happened in the line.  somehow i got separated & wandered around huge hallways, kind of like the tombs under a football stadium.  i ran into an usher-guy & asked for directions back to my group.  he showed me how to read my papers & match them up with the sections in the building.  i made it back to a couple girls in my group & we had to go up stairs, so i had to ditch the shopping cart & just take out what i could carry.  we walked to this mall-like area, and stood in line to trade stuff for food.  

i think the stress might be getting to me in odd ways? 

i'm not sure how to even measure the stress i'm under right now.  i think work today was less stressful... but then again i had a knot in my stomach for at least part of the day.  still, productivity was had, and that makes me smile.  : )  

tomorrow will be another busy day, so i'm trying to relax tonight, read some blogs & watch The Pelican Brief w/ bret.  i love this movie so much!  makes me wish i owned Erin Brokovich, tho.   heh.

i hope your monday went well.  jen sent me a text apologizing for last night.  


Sunday, 23 January 2011

what the what?

I had a lot of fun with Leyton today. Lots more time than I'd thought, tho.  when jen asked me if he could come over today, she said so she could watch the game at 2.  i anticipated whatever game that was being over no later than 5.  apparently, she meant gameS, and wasn't planning to be home until 10.  i had to take leyton to her house to put him to bed & also so anthony wouldn't be home alone, as apparently his phone was out of juice & his charger had been left at his grandma's.  then, around 10:40 when she still wasn't home & i texted to see if she had an ETA, she said there was some issue w/ the cops & she didn't know when she'd be home.  phil had to leave work at 11:30 to go to the bar to take care of whatever it was.  they got home about 12:30.

i am so exhausted, and so irritated, i can't even explain.  aside from the situation (which apparently involved the tab of the person she was hanging out w/, who'd been tossed out of the bar & their wife had reported the card used for the tab as stolen, leaving jen to somehow pay this tab??) the fact of the matter is that i shouldn't have had to be out so late.  or out at all, really.

anyway.  i'll write about the fun leyton & i had later.  i just had to get this off my chest before going to sleep or i wouldn't be able to.  as it is, i had to send a note to reschedule my dr appt and to tell the boss i'm not sure when i'll be in, because i really don't think i'm going to make it getting up in 5 hours.  idk if bret is scheduled to work or not, so i guess i might not have a choice about getting up, but if that's the case, i'm coming home and going back to bed.  or not, i'll see how i feel in the morning, but right now, the way i feel (which is on the verge of screaming or tears or both, i think)... that's the sitch.

*sigh*  goodnight & i hope monday will be extra happy for all of us!


Saturday, 22 January 2011


helloooo again!  : )  

i got a late start out, so i only got to stop in to misha's surprise party for a minute.  long enough to get hugs, a couple pictures, and give her a valentine blanket.  : )  

then i met jan at her house & we went to BWW for lunch.  you can read all about it by clicking that link.  heh.  it was yummy!  after eats, we went to the theatre.  even after i told her what mom said, jan still seemed to want to see the green hornet.  but i was over it, and over country strong, and over the king's speech.  i think i'll rent that last one, tho, because over-use of the F word or not, i think it's a good story & love colin firth!  : )  

so, we ended up at the dilemma, and it was totally NOT what i was expecting, but we both really enjoyed it!  (even tho i was sitting right next to a couple who seemed to think it was a make-out movie.  i'm sorry, i'm really happy you're in love & all, but i didn't pay $7 to listen to you suck face.  i'm actually kinda jealous that you're so wealthy you can afford to pay $14 to sit in the back of a room & make out.  i mean, you could do that AT HOME FOR FREE!  *growly face*)  

so, about the movie - it's being advertised as a buddy comedy.  it's really not.  it has comedic moments, for sure.  and it's not quite a drama.  but it's more serious than the previews lead one to believe.  it's about a friendship, a real friendship, and about love.  (also, a note about the green hornet - beck saw it tonight & said she really liked it, so there you go.  *laugh*  i still don't really want to see it anymore, at least not in the theatre, but will likely rent it at some point.  

after the movie, when i got home, bret's friends angela & tori were here hanging out.  they'd watched The Bourne Identity.  we chatted for awhile - they are both neat young ladies! - and then they had to get home, and bret & i went to WM for groceries.  

i *heart* grocery shopping (especially when i don't have to pay for the groceries!)!!  : )  we did a pretty good job of sticking to our list, except i did find cubed butternut squash that i picked up to try.  i think i'll saute it up for dinner tomorrow w/ a little butter & cinnamon!  or possibly make my own version of pumpkin curry...oh!  heh.  

when we got home, we put in The Bourne Supremacy & golly matt damon is a cutie!  he has such an innocent face, it's awesome to watch him in such an actiony flick!  : )  the bourne movies are all awesome & GREAT big-screen movies.  watching makes me wish i had a big-screen!  lol  

after the movie - or maybe before it's over, i'm super sleepy! - it shall be time for bed.  leyton's coming over tomorrow to hang out while jen watches the bears game.  we'll probably watch some thomas, take pictures, and play cars & castles, and maybe grocery store.  : )  

what've you been up to today?  do share!  God is sooooo good!  : )  ttfn!  

what the bleep?

so, jen just called to see if i was going somewhere, and mom was there, also.  found out she & jen went to sam's.  made me a little jealous, because mom & i have been talking about going, and she knows how much i want to go but was waiting to go together... and then they go & don't even call me?  so yeah.  anyway, then i told her i was going to see The Green Hornet w/ aunt jan, and mom was welcome to join us - to which mom replied, loudly & w/ venom - "Don't waste your money!  The boys (that she nannies) & I walked out of that one, it was so awful!"


so then i looked up the other movies offered right now at our theatre, for the time we want to go - black swan (sorry, no desire to see it, even if it is good and about ballet); no strings attached (ummm... i'm sure it's cute & funny  w/ ashton & natalie, but the production title was "F*** Buddies."  no thank you.); country strong (this was a possibility); the dilemma (another possibility); and the king's speech (another possibility).

then i went to plugged in, to get a look into these movies.  now, some of the things they think are "negatives" i really don't have a problem with.  normally i don't care so much about language in movies, other than taking Christ's name as a swear.  so, i'm reading about the 3 movies mentioned as possibilities above, and accidentally found out the end of country strong, which then made me not want to see it.  so, it's between the dilemma & the king's speech.  i'm going to bring those both up to jan & see which one she'd rather.  other than some crude humor, the dilemma looks alright.  and even tho i love colin & i know it's a brilliant movie... 20 f words is kinda making me rethink the king's speech.  again, tho, depending on how/when they're used, that might not bother me... 

i'll keep ya posted.  i would like to know - if you feel like commenting - what, if anything bothers you about movies?  is there anything that would make you not go to a movie that you'd wanted to see?  is there anything that would make you walk out of a movie once there?  demand your money back?  inquiring mind, ppl!  : )  


Friday, 21 January 2011


thank you for your prayers!  

i woke up this morning & said it will be a BLESSED day.  the Lord granted my words into reality, and it was a very blessed day!  perhaps because the parking situation is taken care of at least for a week (i thought this morning, anyway) a weight was lifted from me.  the sky was beautiful with orange &  pink & purple.  the moon was big and round across from the sunrise.  

work was rather brilliant.  as a friday, a lot of ppl were gone, so my in box wasn't AS crazy as it's been all week.  i worked on memorial requests almost all day, and it was nice.  part of what i did today was looking up obituaries, which could be depressing, but almost all of them were for men and women in their 80's & 90's, with lists of loved ones and accomplishments.  one gentleman had so many kids and grandkids - and greatgrandkids! - all named in the obit, i knew he was a very loved man and had lived a fabulous life.  

for lunch, trish, marcie & i met al at el pavito.  we love their food, and they are super nice!  however, service tends to be kinda slow.  however, today it wasn't just kinda slow.  it was at a complete standstill for 20 minutes!!  we ordered drinks right away - a water (me), a coke & two diet coke's.  mr. pavito (not his real name, lol) goes to get our drinks.  he comes back with my water 10 minutes later.  15 minutes later he comes over & says the soda machine is broken & would the other three like a bottle of mexican soda?  so they order that.  the cooler is right there, should be 30 seconds, round trip.  the food comes out, and it's all correct except al's, because he ordered no tomatoes & there are diced tomatoes all up in his carnitas!  d'oh!  he scrapes them off, and asks for the sodas.  we are 1/2 way through our food before mr. pavito comes back with the bottles, and then he can't find his bottle opener.  (we were the only ones in the restaurant for most of this time, by the way, so it wasn't that he was busy!)  marcie said she didn't want him to open hers, because she wouldn't have time to drink it.  so al took it home w/ him.  lol  even tho it was long & somewhat annoying, it was still a fun lunch, and the food was still delicious!  : )  

even staying til after 6 was a blessing!  

met becca & nate for dinner at the chick fil a.  : )  nate was already playing in the play area when i arrived.  heh.  i used my free meal coupon & got an original chicken sammich.  i hadn't had one in a long while because i've been eating their grilled chicken.  it was sooooo good, tho!  nom nom nom!  it's funny, tho, i am apparently the poster child for the grilled wrap now.  *laugh*  wes (i think that's his name, the night manager) asked if i was getting the wrap, and then a couple of the waitstaff asked later.  heh.  i was like, "not tonight, but of course you have them tonight!"  it was a lot of fun to hear about beck's recent mission trip to mexico.  to hear about the work God's doing down there & what He allowed her and her group to do... AMAZING!  

and i can't wait to see pictures!!!  : )  

aunt jan called to see if i wanted to hang out tomorrow, so we're going to buffalo wild wings (BWW to those in the know?) for a late lunch/early supper (about 2:30) and then to see The Green Hornet.  it looks fun, and kato...YUM.  

got to chat w/ the april, which was very nice because we hadn't chatted in awhile.  it was good to hear about what's going on w/ her & to get her insights on my stressy ball of stressfulness (carrie-ism).  

received a postcrossing from poland, but my scanner's not scanning for some reason, so i'll have to see about showing you later this weekend.  heh.  also got a $5 hallmark rewards certificate, woot!  and People - who knew keith urban & nicole kidman had another baby??  via surrogate, i think they said.  now they have sunday & faith, which i think are both pretty names.  

aaaaaaaand now i think it's time for bed.  goodnight, dear friends, sleep well & have a sweet saturday!  keep praying for me, as i pray for you.  got a difficult task ahead on monday (talking to a new doc i've never met in a place i've never been about my axiety.  someone didn't think this thru, because i'm having more anxiety about this...)!!

tt... oh!!!  one more thing.... 


she is 20 today (well, it's 12:20 on january 22nd, currently...).  i can't even believe she is 20 & bret is 22 & aren't they still 10?  i guess i'm glad they're older because they are both much nicer.  *laugh*  and love the Lord, so that's good, good!  

and now... ttfn!  : )  

Thursday, 20 January 2011

stop making me cry!

** today's a list kinda day.  not any particular kind of list, tho.

** it makes me sad when i happen across a random blog - like from BON or the Next Blog tab - and it's old.  like, they haven't posted in months.  i wonder what happened to them, why did they suddenly stop posting?  are they okay?  

** today was rough.  anxiety attack from the parking nazis.  i do everything i can to avoid anxiety attacks, and to have one shoved on me unexpectedly really threw my whole day out of whack.  once again i spent part of the day fight back tears.  and once in front of the boss!  :(  he had to offer me tissues!  (which was nice of him to offer.)  i don't even want to go in tomorrow because of all the stress of today.  but i will, because even with all the things i don't like, or that cause me issues, i truly enjoy my job and the ppl i work with.  trish is awesome & offered to share her parking spot with me when she gets it (she won a "special" spot thru united way).  and aside from the stupidity, it was an okay day.  i mean, work-wise, i got all the claims in!  not before 6... lol  still, i was out by 10 after 6, and i even took time to organize vacations!  : )  

** bret cleaned up the kitchen & living room since he was home today, which was very nice of him!  he's taken on organizing my movie collection.  : )  also, he said he DOES get to work tomorrow, so hooray!  we watched Batman tonight.  tomorrow night, Batman & Robin?  cuz i don't really want to watch the 2nd one again as i just watched it recently!  *laugh*  

** oh, after the icky day, i was so happy to get home - but had to fight w/ the driveway first!  :(  somehow a new pile of snow had formed since i'd left (i don't remember it snowing today?!) and then frozen, and so chloe couldn't get up over whatever hill had been formed.  so i had to get out of my nice, warm car in order to chip away at a pile of ice before i could get in the driveway!  booo!  

** i don't know what else.

**  i'm blue. (abudeeabuda)

**  anyway, maybe i should go to the doctor to see about some medication.  because with the resurgence of my anxiety and the way i've been feeling lately, i'm seriously worried about depression.  it's like i just can't get happy.  the only thing that has sparked anything really close lately is when i was with leyton last weekend.  and even that felt sort of ... muted?  it's like, i WANT to be happy.  i WANT to talk to my friends and enjoy their company and everything.  i just... can't.  i'm trying to pray through... and the Lord did give me a boost today when i needed it - a beautifully written thank you card from the family of one of the memorials i sent out.  

** okay, i know i've been down, i don't want you to worry.  just pray, please continue to pray for me.  i pray for you every day, too.  : )  i joke about medication (and i might really need it, and if i do, that's okay) but i truly believe in the power of words, and the power of prayer especially.  other things have made me happy today (playing w/ my templates & changing some things up w/ the look of the blog) and i have things to look forward to - tomorrow being friday is one of those things, so i'm going to try especially hard to have a FABULOUS friday.  i pray you will do the same.

love you!

ttfn.  i must go to SLEEP even tho it's not even 10:30.  if i get to actual BED by 11, i think i'll be a happier camper when i have to get up at 6:30.  goodnight!  

Wednesday, 19 January 2011


i felt pushed to the edge today.  it started early... did i mention that the light above my desk was flickering & buzzing yesterday?  the boss very kindly took it out, to be replaced by maintenance that night.  i sent a note telling them to make sure & only replace the MIDDLE light, which is the one currently in there.  i did this because there was a reason we only had one light in there, and that reason was that it's too bright otherwise.  too bright for me.  (too bright for my last helper bee, before she left, too.  i was not alone!)  anyway, i got to work this morning, and what is shining, surrounding my desk?


felt like a spotlight.  ugh.  i very nearly cried.  at 7:30 in the morning, right there in front of everyone.  well, the 4 co-workers who were there that early!  

my boss very kindly took out two of the lights before i was pushed to that extreme.  of course, he also sorta snapped at me about it first.  i don't think he quite understood why it bothered me so much.  and i think it's just really stressy everywhere, so after the initial "verge of tears AGAIN" moment, i understood & was okay. plus, when i got back from lunch, the lights were gone.  : )  

(btw, if you don't understand why the light bothered me so much, i'll just say - headaches are no fun, and i have anxiety issues.)

the day flew by, as it does when one is busy beyond belief.  lol  but when i left at 6, it was with the knowledge that i'm well-prepared to get ALL the claims in for tomorrow's deadline!  yay!  i actually have some hope that i might, might get them all in before 6 & have time to do some other work, as well.  hey, it's good to have hope!  

for dinner, i once again had an egg sandwich.  i'm on a kick, apparently!  just been craving eggs this week!  anyone know what that means?  i'm sure there's folklore or science behind craving eggs.  tonight i fried up some SPAM to go on my sammich, tho.  : )  it was yummmmy!  

i watched the new White Collar and then Push.  since it was that kinda day.  so happy to have my neal and peter back!  : )  

i mean, really!  (i know, i have lots of crushes.  *laugh*)

anywhoo, that concludes your peek into my day.  i must get to bed, on the chance that bret will be working tomorrow & all.  i hope he does, and yet... it is kinda nice getting to work at 7:30 & having that "extra" 1/2 an hour before anyone starts to bother me.  but really i think he needs to work more, so i am praying that he gets to work tomorrow.

take care, stay warm, and happy almost friday!  ttfn!  

Tuesday, 18 January 2011

not what i wanted to share, but it'll do

sooo... i spent an hour while watching Dark Knight w/ bret typing up a whole bloggity blog post.  it's heartfelt and all about where i am emotionally right now.  but then i decided not to post it, because it's a little too much of myself.  

here's the gist - EXHAUSTED.  mentally, physically, emotionally exhausted.  i don't have anything to give anyone right now, and it's really irritating me.  there are some ppl i've been wanting to talk to for a month, and i just can't.  and it's driving me crazy.  

and so, all i'll say to anyone reading this who i've been neglecting lately - i'm sorry.  i love you, and i'm praying for you every day, and i hope you know that!  

today came very close to breaking me again, and i'm seriously ready for a vacation - except that there'd just be 100x more to do when i got back, so i can't even dream of that!  instead, i am just kinda turning off my brain when i get home, watching The Dark Knight with bret, then chuck & the cape.  i hope to be able to get back to myself soon.  

meanwhile, here are three postcrossings i received today, which made me smile.  

they are from slovenia, australia, and oregon.

i hope your tuesday was terrific, and that the Lord shines His face upon you!!