"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."

Wednesday, 21 September 2011

oh yeah

i had to turn the computer back on because i remembered something that i do have to share.  i need to ask for prayer support.  

this is a really hard time of year for me, as you all likely know.  i am trying not to talk about it too much because i feel like i'm healing a little bit, and i don't want to be gloom & doom or whatever.  but the past few weeks i have been super stressed and haven't admitted it to myself, let alone anyone else.  

but that needs to stop, because i need support, and i need prayer.  

i feel like i've been sabotaging myself, and i want to stop!  

it's been 5 years, this halloween since my best friend went to Heaven.  i miss him, every day.  i want his hugs.  

it's been a year since my diabetes diagnosis, and at first i was doing so well, being good, doing the things i needed to be doing.  (well, after the couple of months of shock!)  i took my food intake seriously, i avoided bad snacking options, i switched to diet soda and diet flavored tea.  i lost 50 lbs!  hooray!  and i stuck w/ it for quite a while.  

unfortunately, the past few weeks, i have felt myself slipping.  i'm drinking less water.  i'm snacking more on things that i shouldn't - i'm still watching portions, but instead of carrots, i'm eating carrots and THEN also having a bite of donut.  and then having a bite of muffin.  and then having a bite of cookie.  :|  one of those is okay!  all three in one work-day period of time is not so much.  my blood sugar has been okay, good even.  praise the Lord!  but that's not the only thing i have to watch.  i don't want to gain back the 50 lbs.  i need to lose more, not gain it back.  

and then the past couple months i've not been paying attention to my finances as i should.  i've had to borrow money from mom more than once, to get me thru to the next payday.  and then i pay her back - but a week later i have to borrow it back.  today i had to borrow a larger amount, because i forgot to add an automatic payment to my check register, and my checking account was overdrawn.  :(  thankfully, my bank covers me, so i don't have bounced checks.  but each time they cover, it costs me nearly $30.  NOT GOOD.

mom was once again able to help me out so that i only had one fee instead of 3, but that's still money i have to pay her back at the end of the month, and my end of the month is pretty strapped already.  

the holiday season is coming up, and i have a birthday party to plan as well.  i'll be 35 in november, you know, and i want not only my traditional party, but i want it to be something extra, for this milestone year.  this means that i need to SAVE not overdraw my accounts!  

*sigh*  i've also been staying up way too late, which i am nipping in the bud starting tonight.  so, these are my goals, and these are what i need your prayer support in.  

i WILL go to bed before midnight on work nights.  

i WILL make better food choices during the day.  i WILL pay attention to what i am eating and drink more water instead of eating a cookie.

i WILL pay attention to my spending.  and i WILL figure out a way to get things paid off so i don't have them hanging over my head.

thanks, my friends.  i appreciate you more than i can even express.

love you!!



  1. praying for you Carrie. I'm proud of you. what helps me is to have accountability each day...just knowing someone will ask how my day went usually helps me to make better choices. Sharing with others is a huge step, so again, i'm proud of you. If you need a non-judgmental accountability partner I can do that! love you to death. hang in there. even small victories are worth celebrating! Kath

  2. I will be praying for you. I know all those things are difficult habits to break. As far as your finances...check online for some resources that can help you come up with a budget.

    The food issue is important because of your diabetes. I don't have great advice because I struggle with the snacking as well. Especially during the middle of the day. And I have never drank enough water.

    Good luck... You'll be in my prayers.