"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."

Tuesday, 10 May 2011

funerals suck

but at least the family time is nice.  

i'd never been to a catholic funeral before.  and any other family funerals i've been to, i've sat w/ mom, dad, phil... this one, i was on my own.  (i did make it to the church on time, and only getting turned around a couple times!)  some observations: 

there is a lot of standing/sitting/standing/singing/sitting/praying/singing/standing/kneeling/standing/sitting going on.  by the 4th or 5th standing/sitting, my knees started creaking!  

the altar boys were wearing sneakers.  idk why this bothered me, but it just did a little.  i mean, we all dressed up in reverence of the occasion, why couldn't they?  i understand they were probably out of school for the two hours or whatever, but it just seems like there should be a dress code for altar boys.  they have to wear the smocks (sorry, idk the official term), why aren't dress shoes included in the uniform?  

i love communion, but can't get down w/ the Eucharist.  i love taking bread & wine/juice/water in remembrance of Christ's sacrifice for me.  i love the quiet reflection and prayer.  i do not want to think of it as ACTUALLY consuming His body and His blood.  i understand that it's how they've interpreted the Bible, but it's just not for me.  

the incense that they used at the end of the funeral was amazing - clove & citrus & cinnamon?  do any of my catholic friends know if there is a special blend and if it has significance, or if it wouldn't be sacrilegious to have some for my very own?  especially at christmastime... ?  

i really, really did not want to see uncle gary's body, and had planned to just circumvent him & go into the sanctuary.  however, aunt judy grabbed my hand & brought me over to say goodbye... and so once again i was looking at someone i loved in a casket.  ohhh, God must have His reasons.  i didn't want to see grandpa in the casket, i didn't want to see sergio.  and in each instance, i was swept along in a line or brought by someone else, and i didn't want to cause them any awkwardness or anything, so i went.  so there must be something to the closure theory, because otherwise i can't come up w/ another explanation for why i keep being put in situations where i have to see them.  he looked good, tho.  not like grandpa, who didn't look anything like himself.  dad looked like himself, which was easier and harder all at once.  his Pooh tie helped... gary needed a Pooh tie... but that wasn't really his style.  

i felt so much for aunt kim.  having to go to a funeral so soon after erika, i know exactly how she was feeling.  i went to toni's mom's funeral right after daddy's, and oh gosh it was so hard!  

after the service, there was a luncheon, and i sat w/ kim & rick & amanda & sandy & arnie & jonell & some friends of theirs.  i was able to speak w/ a good portion of my family, so that was comforting.  and aunt nancy & i arranged a lunch at granite city on saturday, w/ aunt judy & jenni, and possibly aunt vickie.  i really should ask her how she spells her name.  i spell it differently every time!  

i left a little after 4, and was contemplating going back to work, but it would have been close to 5, then i would have only had an hour... and plus i remembered that i needed cat food!  (poor angel this morning was all meowing & crying cuz mama didn't have any food for her!  i was even out of my emergency canned food or tuna for her!  d'oh!  i cooked up some sausage, hoping she would at least take a nibble, but it was still all there on the plate when i got home tonight, so... LOL)  i stopped at WM & got the cat food (and canned food) & some bubbly water & whatnot.  donated some monies to CMN.  did not have enough cash to put money on my gas card, so now i'm not sure how i'll be getting petrol for chloe tomorrow, as i go to work before the bank opens (i can hear nicki saying "debit card" in a sing-song-y voice as she reads that sentence...)!  

well, there you have a little more than the funeral.  i'm going to do a separate post about some other things about today, cuz this is rather long already!  but i will leave you w/ a picture, because today made me think of him lots.  


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