and the question i have to ask is - where are these kids' parents? how were they raised with such a disregard for human life? there are always ppl (from good families or bad) who are jerks or whatever. but it's sort of passive. they're not going out to alleyways on a friday night, bored and looking for "something" to do - and making the decision that beating, setting afire, or PEEING on another person are acceptable ways to alleviate their boredom.
it's sick, and the kids who have been caught have been as young as TEN.
what really scares me about this sort of thing - what if the kids doing this WERE raised with a loving family, and still fell in w/ "the wrong crowd"? there are so many things working against kids these days - divorce, and everything that goes along with that. public schools can't teach morals or ethics because that would be seen as "religious." (i went to a private christian school, so if public schools DO teach morals & ethics somehow, i apologize.) political correctness has robbed our society of things like logic and free speech for fear of offending someone. or fear of getting into trouble for offending someone. i mean, really people! then we have the hypocrisy of saying we want our young girls & boys to respect their bodies and others', but not practising that. look at the clothing marketed to young girls now. YOUNG girls. 3rd graders who were content to wear whatever mom picked out for them are now unhappy if they don't have the latest fashions. and those fashions are getting skimpier and shorter and more "look at me." !!! really, we want our 8 year olds to wear mini skirts, wedge sandals & tank tops? because they have to impress, who?
and it's not any easier on boys, because the music and fashions and heroes of today all promote infidelity, promiscuity, etc. girls are not the only ones affected by that! just when you think there is a positive male role model, he turns out to be cheating on his wife & children w/ 14 hoochie mamas!!
and then there's the feeling card. do parents/schools teach compassion anymore? or is that seen as unimportant now? because it just seems like younger & younger kids are losing that ability to empathize and sympathize with or for others. it's all about me! me! me! and not in a kind, i wanna throw myself a HP birthday party kinda way.
i worry about my nieces and nephews, because each & every one of them was born with a sweet spirit (even my rambuncious william! he is a sweet tornado!). as they get older, tho, i can see attitudes developing that need to be guided in a different direction. and it's hard work. it takes consistency on the part of everyone in their lives! if you're around kids, and they say something mean or burp and don't excuse themselves, or take something w/o saying please, or are given something and don't say thank you... for their sakes, please correct them! their parents won't (shouldn't!) take offense. you're not condemning their parenting or saying they did something wrong. you're just reinforcing in this child, a child you love, that everyone appreciates politeness, not just their parents.
when we were in dubuque, at the museaquarium, i took anthony aside and lovingly told him to make sure he was AWARE of the ppl around him. i'd just watched him moving thru the crowd, and it's not like he shoved anyone out of the way or anything, he just wasn't paying attention to where he was going, and walked right in front of ppl's paths several times. i just reminded him to say excuse me and be careful as he moved thru all the ppl. i made sure to tell him he wasn't doing anything wrong (because he wasn't, and i didn't want him to feel like he was in trouble or anything) but that it would be good for him to do something RIGHT. ya know?
i've been accused of being overly polite, but ya know what? if it's sincere, i don't think it can be overdone. saying please & thank you, excuse me, you're welcome, bless you... asking if someone is okay if they're coughing or sneezing a lot... these are things that are not that hard to instill in kids when they're young. and it gives them a sense of compassion for others which will hopefully stay with them as they grow older. but you can't STOP teaching them as they grow. you can't give them excuses "they're boys, they're teenagers" whatever excuse you can come up with. don't fall into that trap!
i don't know if that trap is what causes compassion and empathy to be lost in our teenagers, and young adults, but it's gotta stop somewhere. i want anthony, stephen, sarah, kathryn, jacob, andrew, william, leyton, adam, and chase to keep politeness close to them. i want it to be so ingraned in them that they don't even think about it when someone sneezes, they just bless them. when they pass in front of someone, they excuse themselves. when they order from a drive thru window they remember to thank the cashier for handing them their food or beverage. i want them to think about the words they use and how those words make ppl feel. i want them to know the Lord, and His love for them. and if i want them to know and do these things, i have to be willing to step in when i see them NOT doing them.
like mine, your family and friends know that you love their kids as much as your own (should you have children!) and that you correct them (and encourage them, remember to encourage good behaviors when you see them!) to help them, not to be mean. you're correcting them to prevent THEM from being mean!
i need to go to bed! i hope this all makes sense! i feel a little bit like mad eye moody - CONSTANT VIGILANCE!!! but i feel quite strongly that we are in a battle of sorts, for our children's quality of life. sure, we can buy them the latest ipod or phone or clothes that will cement their popularity at school. but that's just window dressing. teaching them compassion and making sure they understand what it truly means to have that is the only way to avoid another generation of bullies.
(don't even get me started on the "mean girls." girls do NOT have to be catty and mean. an office full of women do NOT have to be backstabby and whatever other stereotype there is about women in the work place. imo.)
goodnight & ttfn. love!
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