a guy from my pest control company had to stop by today to remind me to pay last month's bill.
i thought i'd left a check w/ bret, since i knew they were coming.
i feel guilty not so much for forgetting the check - the unfortunate reality of my life is i often forget to make payments until i'm reminded. i used to have a schedule & stuck to it pretty well, but when things spiraled out that stopped, and now that things are "better" i haven't gotten back into the groove of a lot of things.
anyway, i feel guilty for making the poor guy stand out in the rain - it wasn't raining hard yet, but enough that he was being rained on. me, polite carrie, who always worries about everyone else's comfort & happiness! i was so surprised and confused that i didn't even have him step inside out of the rain for a minute. all i could think was, "what? i paid this? i left a check...i don't have any money to pay them right now. i barely have $10 in my billfold and certainly nothing in my checking account at this moment, and ..." split second thoughts that felt like they lasted forever, and then i don't even know what i said other than it'd have to wait til thursday.
i was so FLUSTERED.
also - he thought bret was my husband/boyfriend/fiance?
i did have the presence of mind to correct that by saying, "or my cousin..." : )
of course, then i thought, "Oh, crap, did i smile as i said that? did i sound snotty or friendly? the poor guy was standing in the rain and i might have been snotty!"
anyway, i stood in the rain for a minute in penance. i still felt bad, so i wrote a note on their FB wall. then i wrote a note & put it in w/ the check, which i will mail on tuesday so they get it by thursday.
anyway. i just thought i'd share more neuroses, cuz who doesn't love those?!