"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."

Wednesday, 3 October 2012

feeling twitchy

the past week has been pretty nice.  i got to hang out w/ aunt jan (& see Pitch Perfect, which i'd never even heard of, and i LOVED it!  someone get me the soundtrack for my birthday?  pretty please?  :) ) & also mom & leyton, and that's always quite lovely!  : )  we played yahtzee, and leyton got to keep his own score, and watching him write his numbers, while saying the cute little rhymes to remember how to draw them... magic!  i have loved watching his mind work forever and it just gets more & more awesome!  he makes me wish i had money to take him all over the place, to give him the experiences that would shape his little brain into even more inquisitiveness, more thoughtfulness... *sigh*  alas, i don't even have the money at the moment to ... well, that's beside the point.  *laugh*  i spent a few dollars on books today that i should have waited to spend, but i needed something to center me after my day.  

the new book rack is open, and the smell of books - i can't even explain it.  i hadn't even planned to go, but then i had to take that road to return my movie from the weekend (Chronicle.  did not like.  blech.  happy it was free!), and i wanted to see if the new store was open, and then it was, and then... mmmm!  i walked in & took a deep breath & instantly felt that "i'm home" feeling.  i wandered the new shelves, in the bigger store, and just ran my hands along the bindings, picking one up here & there, reading the back.  and then i went on the actual hunt, for a couple books.  found one (second chronicles of nick book).  yay!  i need to do a little research into maggie shayne books.  i like her serial stuff, have for years, but i know she writes a couple series, too, so ... have to look into that.  AFTER i've collected all my lynsay sands books!  sadly, did not find what i was looking for w/ those... *pout*  

today was a good day, really, but still my twitchy feeling was there.  some of our Leadership paid a visit for my area's 15th anniversary, and they came around & shook hands w/ everyone & they're all super nice!  but they're just ppl, ppl!  i mean, there was some fawning going on.  and i don't fawn.  i like to think that i treat everyone equally, whether you're the president of the company or the dude who cleans the bathrooms - i hope i do!  but, due to the empathy thing, and feeding off other ppl's emotions & whatnot, when other ppl are being all fawny or whatever, it sets me on edge.  not in an annoyed way or anything like that (it amuses me)!  it's just that then all that tension swirls around me & makes me... twitchy.  LOL  AND THEN, also, there's the fact that while we waited for the leadership group to get back for the presentation, i flitted around saying hi to ppl & being all social butterfly-y, and where i ended up (semi-purposefully, i will admit) was close to where my work crush ended up (ppl tend to stand in the same general areas at these meetings, and so knowing the general area he usually stands in... LOL).  and so then i was trying to pay attention to the presentation while catching a much-needed glimpse of my work crush, hoping he'd be smiling about something... *laugh*  and then seeing him & not being able to talk to him kinda just made it worse.  *sigh*  

i should wish that i didn't like him so much, i really should.  i prayed when the whole crush thing started that if we were meant to have any sort of relationship that he would say something to me, and he didn't, and w/ all of that in my prayer i said "if it's not Your will, then just help me to be okay w/ it."  and i am okay-okay.  i'm not sobbing into my pillow or anything.  *laugh*  but i do think of him an awful lot, and am starting to get really annoyed w/ myself because i can't seem to NOT think of him, even tho i KNOW he's not interested, there's nothing there, etc., etc., argument to myself ad nauseum!  i still, every once in a while thru the day find him crossing my mind, wondering what he's doing, wondering if he's started dating anyone yet, wondering wondering wondering.  blech.  it's really irritating.  i'm going to be 36 in a month for pete's sakes! where is my maturity?  

and even as i write that, i'm wondering if i'll get to see him at lunch tomorrow, and if i'll work up the nerve to talk to him - which is crazy, it's not like i haven't talked to him!  *eye roll*

really, are you bored w/ me yet?  i'd smack myself, but fear it wouldn't really help, and i'm not really the violent type.  


back to other things.  sunday i went over to trish's for dinner & to watch Once Upon A Time & Revenge (*happy dance*).  i'd been hoping that my one bad day would be sunday, so that it wouldn't interfere w/ work, but alas the bad day didn't start til later on sunday & so i stayed home sick on monday.  thankfully the 24 hour rule still applied & i was ready to face the fun on tuesday!  and i only had about 200 emails to get through!  lol  

while home, i read The Host, which i borrowed from trish.  i'm not sure i really liked it.  i wanted to like it!  trish really likes it!  i did really like the ending, so that's a plus.  *laugh*  i'm going to read thru it again later & see if i like it more then... i also read Genie Knows Best, which i REALLY enjoyed.  that's a keeper for sure.  then i read A Taste of Magic & am now reading the sequel, A Stroke of Magic.  they're written differently, and i am highly enjoying the writing style.  and i love the plots!  but there is not enough hero/heroine time in them for me, i think.  i think that was my problem w/ the host, too... but we'll see.  

i need to do some cleanup, but that will have to wait because for now, i am heading over to mom's for Survivor.  : )  i think i'll go over there sunday night, as well, to watch my shows this week since trish is busy.  : ) 

i hope your week is going well!  if you feel like sharing any fun work-or-other-crush stories, please do so!  


(oh, i have to remember to download some pictures from leyton's visit friday night.  we had some fun!)  : ) 

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