"Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend."

Wednesday, 10 October 2012

slightly worried about my sanity ... (post 900!)

so, i'm not worried about it in a scared fashion.  just in a ... well, okay.  

oh, hi!  how are you?  i hope you've had a GREAT week so far!  mine has been pretty good, altho today i was having a sad day, and i've been pretty stressed out over the sheer amount of work i have to do, and not having TIME to get it all done before there's more!  

so, the sanity thing.  what's the difference between a crush & obsession?  and how do you know if you've tipped the scales to scary territory?  i don't want to be scary.  :(  but sometimes i feel like the sheer intensity of my feelings is something ... other.  like, why can't i stop thinking about him?  i'm boy crazy, i admit that all the time.  i came into the boy crazy thing late, altho actually i think it's just that it's been RE-surfacing lately not that i've never been boy crazy.  LOL  reading back through past journals, i've always loved to flirt.  it's just that before i wasn't quite so open about loving to flirt?  maybe?  

oh, i don't know.  i had a little bit of wine at the chef auction tonight and my thoughts are a little scattered.  : ) it was really good wine, tho!  a mascato?  i think?  idk how you spell it.  but i liked it!  oh yes, i went to a chef auction tonight for the march of dimes.  my friend tina had some extra tickets & nicki's hubby was a participant, so i definitely wanted to go!  and today i was really missing dad.  just when i think i'm okay w/ halloween, someone says something & i feel like crying & i'm at work so i can't cry.  well, i guess i could, and i guess i have before, but i'd really rather not.  ya know?  ANYWAY, so a night out w/ the girls was just what was needed (and just to help you assess - my first thought when i said that was "other than a sighting of my work-crush, because his smile always makes me happy and is just what i need!")!!  : )  so, our table was full of fun - nicki, tina, tina's nieces, her friend diana (? i think) & our friend gail.  we tried many delectable things, but of course doug's was the best!  (NOT just saying that.  he really does deserve all the accolades he gets.  he is TALENTED!)

did i take pictures?  because, you know, that used to be a big thing w/ me.  sadly, i did not.  while i have no issues taking pictures at porkapalooza, this venue seemed more... erm... "adult"?  i was going to say hoity toity, but it wasn't snobby at all & that's kinda what that phrase implies.  but, there were a lot of ppl from my company there at other tables, including my boss's boss's boss, with whom i was able to chat for a bit, and that was nice!  but he's kinda ... i never really know about him, if he likes me or tolerates me.  so i didn't know if he (and not just him, but the room at large) would think taking pictures was appropriate... and while i normally wouldn't care, really, i did a little tonight.

so.  there aren't any pictures, sorry!  but it was fun, and it was delicious, and i'm glad i didn't start to have a panic attack until after i'd eaten & gotten to chat w/ my friends!!!  : )  but when i started to feel twitchy, i booked it outta there!

and i'm glad i left when i did, because i was able to chat w/ anthony a bit, and w/ april.  finally!  it felt like we had weeks of catching up to do!  

now, i am off to read & hit the hay.  so tired!!!  i'm reading The Accidental Vampire & might get to finish it before bed... : )  monday after work i went to the book rack & picked up Eat, Prey, Love by kerrelyn sparks, and stayed up way too late finishing it.  it's part of a new vampire/shapeshifter series i discovered w/ the reading of The Secret Life of a Vampire, also purchased at the book rack, last week.  LOL  this series is now on my list to collect, because the books made me laugh out loud many times, and i love them!!  i especially love how every author has a different take on vampires shapeshifters.  there are so many backstories & whatnot.  mmmm!  

anywhoo!  *HUGS*  happy almost the weekend, ppl!  keep me in prayer, if you think of it.  october is a hard month for me normally, but w/ all the added stress, i do honestly feel myself slipping into depression mode more than i like.  i put on a happy face a lot, because i AM happy and i WANT to be happy, but then when the depression hits, i feel guilty for it and tend to try to be MORE happy and ... anyway.  just keep the prayers coming my way.  thanks much!!


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