a possible post from me....

i say possible because i'm not sure if this will let me post. 

i haven't had internet for like a month, and i finally got it back yesterday & then tried to start up the trusty computer & it's already shut off twice.  and it's making that noise... *sigh*  really, i am wondering if it's worth it to be paying the internet fees right now.  i do need to get mom & everyone's calendars done & then i might just do away w/ the internet until i can get a new computer.  it's just too frustrating, and i would rather be reading than messing w/ this thing.  

*sigh*  anyway!  life has been ... crazy.  but isn't it always?  i've felt very much stress at work, but not a pull your hair out kind, or an "i hate my job" kind, just ... the kind that sucks the life from the marrow of your bones.  *laugh*  i know some (most) won't understand how that feeling could NOT make me hate my job, but ... *shrug*  even when i'm stressed, i love what i'm doing.  i love being able to help ppl w/ stuff... 

i've had some mr crushtastic sightings, and IM's, which always put a smile to my face no matter how stressful a day has been.  : )  

have been reading LOTS, and loving it!

hanging out w/ mom & leyton & anthony - yesterday we just did some running around & had lunch at jimmy john's & made our semi-monthly trip to popcorn charlie's.  i got some creamy dill popcorn & it's delish!  if you like dill.  ; )  

hanging out w/ trish for our sunday night TV viewing is always fun!  we aren't hanging out tonight cuz our shows aren't on til next week.  but i'm going over to her house tuesday after uncle terry's funeral to watch a marathon of christmas movies.  i'll need the happy joy of christmas movies after that... 

(expansion on the above - my uncle terry passed away thursday after a fierce battle with cancer.  he is with the Lord now, and w/ my dad - he was married to my dad's sister, sharon, and was one of daddy's best friends.  they had a really similar personality, humor, and life view!  so, i'm happy that he's not in pain, that he's w/ the Lord.  but sad because once again i feel like we lost a great man way too soon.  *sigh*  so, his visitation is tomorrow, on my birthday, and the funeral is tuesday.  :(  *HUGS*  to my family!)

in happier news - today was my birthday bash at biaggi's, with breaking dawn part 2 afterward.  it was definitely a happy & fun occasion, and i'm so glad the ppl who were there, were there!  : )  mom, grammy, leyton, trish, joy, nicki, juli, john, aunt judy, aunt jan, aunt nancy & uncle gene!  pretty good group of ppl, they are!  : )  nicki made my cake again this year, and she did a BEAUTIFUL job!  i decided i wanted an Acheron cake, because i've read the book like 5 times in 4 months or some such thing!  : )  i felt it was a very fitting cake design, and she did... oh my goodness, SUCH a great job!  i'll have pictures in another post hopefully this week!  

the majority of my gifts were money, which i'm sooooo grateful for because i've been a little strapped for cash!  of course, if i wouldn't buy books or groceries... or did away w/ the internet... but i'll have a loan paid off by the end of the year & then will have that little extra to put away, so that'll be nice.  : )  aunt judy gave me a gift card to BAM, so i can buy some books w/o using cash!  lol  and trish, oh dear sweet trish!  she gave me HP 1&2 on dvd.  i know, i know, you're thinking to yourself, "how can she possibly NOT already have the harry potter movies on dvd?"  well... yeah.  idk, but i didn't.  now i have 2, so i can work on building the whole collection!  : )  thanks, trish!!  

after lunch, nicki, aunt jan, juli, john & i went to the movies.  

breaking dawn part 2.  

it. was. EPIC!  

love love love!  : )  

i might see it again w/ mom when she goes (she had to miss it tonight to take grammy home & then leyton decided to stay w/ her til about 6:30).  speaking of movies i want to see again, i still want to see Pitch Perfect again!  and i need to find the soundtrack... : )  

so, what's everyone been up to?  so glad i can read y'all's blogs on my phone, but i miss interacting more regularly on blogs!  ah well.  life shifts sometimes, and sometimes it shifts back.  

for now, i'm off to write thank-you notes & then read How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire again.  : )  i think i'll hit up BAM tomorrow to get the 2nd & 3rd books in that series w/ my gift card...heh.  oh, and i discovered a new trilogy by Colby Hodge, and there was supposed to be a 4th book, but i don't think she ever wrote it.  :(  which saddens me because the 3rd book kinda left us w/ some cliff hangers that i would really like to see resolved!!  

ttfn!  

OHHHH!  p.s.
one of our stops yesterday was the wonder bread outlet, for mom to get some bread.  WOW!  talk about empty shelves!  apparently, hostess has gone bankrupt & the bakers said they were out?  i'm not clear on the details, all i know is that twinkies & ding dongs disappeared over night.  i'm not so fussed about the twinkies, but i really do love the ganache covering of ding dongs!  :(  not that i eat them very often anymore, but ya know, as soon as something is GONE you want it.  LOL  

ttfn again!  lol  

thank You, Lord for the weekend!

totally in need of some R&R.  

can't wait for my 9 days of VACATION!

wish i were going to the beach, or the largest bookstore which apparently is in toronto (thanks, april!)... 

but i'll just be staying here, maybe getting some stuff done around the house.

LOL

LOL

LOL

i will be getting some books read!  : )  

might rent some movies.

maybe see if the computer lets me watch some hulu.

but mostly i'm sure it will be books, books, and more books!

i'm currently on a mission to find the kathy love books.  might have to venture to the barnes & noble.. i tried BAM & they were sold out.  d'oh!  

i did pick up one at the book rack after work today, tho.  : )  also found another book that looked good, and a new tara tyler quinn.  

i needed the bookstore today.

it was rough.

rough.

not as rough as yesterday, thank goodness, but rough!

frustrating... 

i hate frustrating.  

i mean, i'm used to frustrating in the mr crushtastic department.  *laugh*  

anyway.

i got to chat w/ a friend at lunch & then april when i got home, which did wonders for my mood, so thank you to my friends!  

also, after the book rack, i went to WM cuz i had to pick up my rx & get some groceries.  i found ORANGE M&M's!  ppl!  these are great!  they taste like a chocolate orange, but i always feel bad getting a chocolate orange because i can only eat like 3 bites & then i feel like i'm wasting it.  but w/ these m&m's, i can have one or two, craving satisfied, and then they stay in the bag til the next craving!  woot!  : )  

oh, when i got home tonight, my door was open?  that was weird.  nothing out of place or stolen, thank God!  and no crazy ppl inside waiting to attack, so that can also be considered a plus.  it was just really weird.  

what else?  idk, my computer has already shut down twice & i'm kinda itchin to get to my book, so i think i'll do that while dinner's cooking.  chicken breast w/ some mushrooms & whatnot.  idk, it's from a box, but it looked good.  : )  

tomorrow i get to hang out w/ mom & leyton & maybe anthony!  yay!!

we are going to sam's.  

i love sam's on saturday - free samples!!  : )  

what're you doing this weekend?  

ttfn!

picture pages

as mentioned, i've been spending some time w/ mom & the boys.  VERY happy that anthony has joined us for a couple excursions.  i like hanging out w/ him.  he's a good young man.  : )  

one weekend, we went for haircuts, lunch at maid rite, popcorn charlie's for a treat, and halloween costume shopping for the boys.  i don't do halloween stores, so i stayed in the car & read (i was reading How To Marry A Millionaire Vampire by kerrelyn that day) while they went in & out of those stores.  we also made a trip to the mall for some bath & body works sales!  : )  

 one of my favorite pictures!  : ) 

 another favorite!  : ) 

this past weekend, i hung out w/ mom & leyton at home.  leyton & i had some snuggle time, which made me very, very happy!!  he wanted to post some old pictures on fb, and for one of the pictures, he typed out his own name in the caption.  i was so proud of him!  : )  

i love my boys!  : ) 

ttfn!

wall of weird

man, no wonder it feels like i haven't written in forever.  it's been nearly all flippin month!  what the heck?  well, i'll tell you.  it's not that i've been lost in my vampires - which i have.  it's more than my computer has issues & it's so much work sometimes to try & do anything on it.  like, right now, it's running like a banshee & i'm sure it's going to konk out on me at any moment.  so i'm saving, saving, cuz i write free-thought-flow like & i don't want to have to re-type everything!  that gets super annoying.  :|  

(no sooner had i written that lil face & hit save - computer went phhht.  cheeky lil chit, she is!  LOL)

i've been slowly adding to my kerrelyn sparks collection, as well as having discovered another author i'm loving - heh - kathy love!  so i am on a hunt for her books, as well.  i picked up a book in lora leigh's breed series, but then i read about another series of hers & now i'm kinda scared to start anything of hers.  since i have it, i'll give it a shot, but i think she might be a bit too on the wild side for me.  we'll see.  i don't enjoy love triangle books - vampire diaries & secret circle notwithstanding.  i like those stories, but i really, really do not like the whole tug of war thing w/ elena & stefan & damon, etc.  just pick a boy & let the other boy go off to find a girl of their own, yeesh!  

anyway!  i have been quite escaping into the books, and having a grand time of it.  i've been to the book rack many times, just soaking in the calmness.  i have needed that calming influence a lot this month.  it's been a really, really tough month.  there's been the mr crushtastic stuff that was stressing me out a bit.  and then something happened which caused a semi-depressed mood even a sweet, sweet sighting of the man himself couldn't shake me out of.  that's how i knew i was having a really bad day - he held the door open for me, was wearing one of my favorite shirts of his, i had my mouth full of apple & managed to swallow to say thank you, he said you're welcome, his voice smooth and deep and normally shiver-inducing... and it only pulled me up from my sadness for about 10 seconds before i felt like curling into a ball & crying the rest of the day. of course, that was tuesday, the day before halloween... 

*sigh*  halloween.  i had a very nice day at home - slept 11 hours & dreamed of daddy & i wanted to go over to mom's & go thru pictures - i want to share some "new" pictures of him w/ y'all!  i read kathy's I Only Have Fangs For You & watched one of my favorite Buffy discs (season 4: Hush) & i did go over to mom's for survivor.  it was a very nice day.  reading all the remembrances of daddy on my & phil's fb walls was really nice.  

and i thought, as is usual, that today i would be out of that mood.  november is my birthday month, i celebrate all month long, and it has become a month of renewal for me, of hope, and possibilities, parties and happiness.  

today was not any of those things.  today was stressful & moody & harsh & ... but also wonderful & fun & blessed.  see, i said something to someone that i thought they already knew, but they didn't & then they panicked & because of that panic, it caused others to panic & now i'm on this project that is tearing the happy right out of me!  it's causing me massive amounts of stress, and no matter how much i try my tricks to talk myself down, they only work for short bursts.  i really don't stress, normally, but i tend to feed off other ppl's emotions & there are some really tense ppl right now!  :(  

ANYWAY.  i share that because i want to remember the stress.  but i also want to remember the points of light, the wonderful, nice friends & co-workers i have.  the boss i am so grateful for because even when she's stressed out, she makes sure to help me w/ my stress.  she compliments my work and dedication, she makes me feel appreciated, and i am so thankful for that!  (november is a month to be thankful,  you know!)  

i was very cranky & witchy today, and i apologized several times to my wall-mates, because that is just so NOT me.  one of them said something that made me warm & fuzzy inside for a minute, or a good solid two, maybe.  she said, "that's okay, it's nice to know you're human."  LOL  i replied - thanks, vampire books! - "mostly."  LOL  then both wall-mates proceeded to make me laugh & enjoy the afternoon, in bits & pieces around the stress.  and another co-worker very sweetly brought me a white chocolate coconut bar, because it's her favorite & i'd never had it before (it's delicious!!).  : )  

the Lord has truly blessed me w/ such wonderful ppl around me, and i can't gush enough about them.  (around me means here on the interwebs, too.  i'm grateful for each & every eye that reads my rantings & ramblings, comments & thumbs up on fb.  i'm glad that i can share my heart & whatnot!)

the Lord has also blessed me w/ a wonderful family.  aunts jan, judy & nancy called to let me know they're coming to my birthday bash in a couple weeks.  yay!  and mom took me to see a movie tonight - Here Comes The Boom.  EXCELLENT movie!  very uplifting, family friendly, and LOL funny!  reminded me of Pitch Perfect, only in that i laughed through the whole movie & didn't feel bad once for the things i was laughing about.  THAT is good comedy, ppl.  i want more of THOSE kinds of films!!  

so, that's what has been going on in my corner of the world the past couple weeks.  i'm going to do another post full of leyton, anthony & mom pictures from our adventures the past couple weekends.  i have definitely enjoyed my weekends A LOT!  the stress melts away & i just enjoy being w/ mom & the boys when i get the chance.  : )  

what've you guys been up to lately?  i've been trying to keep up w/ ya on fb & reading the blogs i can on my phone!  (another thing to be so thankful for - a phone that lets me listen to Pandora, take pictures, and keep up w/ my friends on the interwebs!  and also words w/ friends.  lol)  

ttfn & you know, i feel a lot better... i think, even tho i know tomorrow will be stressy, i think it'll be okay, too.  and, if maybe mr crushtastic wanted to pick tomorrow to decide he simply HAS to get to know me better... well... a girl can dream!  ; )