stop making me cry!

** today's a list kinda day.  not any particular kind of list, tho.

** it makes me sad when i happen across a random blog - like from BON or the Next Blog tab - and it's old.  like, they haven't posted in months.  i wonder what happened to them, why did they suddenly stop posting?  are they okay?  

** today was rough.  anxiety attack from the parking nazis.  i do everything i can to avoid anxiety attacks, and to have one shoved on me unexpectedly really threw my whole day out of whack.  once again i spent part of the day fight back tears.  and once in front of the boss!  :(  he had to offer me tissues!  (which was nice of him to offer.)  i don't even want to go in tomorrow because of all the stress of today.  but i will, because even with all the things i don't like, or that cause me issues, i truly enjoy my job and the ppl i work with.  trish is awesome & offered to share her parking spot with me when she gets it (she won a "special" spot thru united way).  and aside from the stupidity, it was an okay day.  i mean, work-wise, i got all the claims in!  not before 6... lol  still, i was out by 10 after 6, and i even took time to organize vacations!  : )  


** bret cleaned up the kitchen & living room since he was home today, which was very nice of him!  he's taken on organizing my movie collection.  : )  also, he said he DOES get to work tomorrow, so hooray!  we watched Batman tonight.  tomorrow night, Batman & Robin?  cuz i don't really want to watch the 2nd one again as i just watched it recently!  *laugh*  


** oh, after the icky day, i was so happy to get home - but had to fight w/ the driveway first!  :(  somehow a new pile of snow had formed since i'd left (i don't remember it snowing today?!) and then frozen, and so chloe couldn't get up over whatever hill had been formed.  so i had to get out of my nice, warm car in order to chip away at a pile of ice before i could get in the driveway!  booo!  


** i don't know what else.


**  i'm blue. (abudeeabuda)


**  anyway, maybe i should go to the doctor to see about some medication.  because with the resurgence of my anxiety and the way i've been feeling lately, i'm seriously worried about depression.  it's like i just can't get happy.  the only thing that has sparked anything really close lately is when i was with leyton last weekend.  and even that felt sort of ... muted?  it's like, i WANT to be happy.  i WANT to talk to my friends and enjoy their company and everything.  i just... can't.  i'm trying to pray through... and the Lord did give me a boost today when i needed it - a beautifully written thank you card from the family of one of the memorials i sent out.  


** okay, i know i've been down, i don't want you to worry.  just pray, please continue to pray for me.  i pray for you every day, too.  : )  i joke about medication (and i might really need it, and if i do, that's okay) but i truly believe in the power of words, and the power of prayer especially.  other things have made me happy today (playing w/ my templates & changing some things up w/ the look of the blog) and i have things to look forward to - tomorrow being friday is one of those things, so i'm going to try especially hard to have a FABULOUS friday.  i pray you will do the same.


love you!


ttfn.  i must go to SLEEP even tho it's not even 10:30.  if i get to actual BED by 11, i think i'll be a happier camper when i have to get up at 6:30.  goodnight!