freeeeedom!

happy birthday, baylee!!!  my darling cousin baylee turned 19 today.  wowowowowow!  seriously, when kiddos you have known since they were tiny babies grow up, it really does make it feel like you're in a timemachine.  you're forced to recognize that what still feels like just yesterday was actually closer to 17 years ago.  and then, even tho you still feel kinda 17 some days, you realize that 17 years ago is nearly 1/2 your life!  (ack!)

today was not what i had planned, but still a good day.  the zoo was cancelled because it was supposed to rain - which it did early in the morning, but then the rest of the day was very nice!  leyton was over at phil's, and i got to chat w/ him on the phone for a moment, but didn't get to see him.  instead, i met aunt jan for a movie at noon.  : )  online, the theatre page said robin hood had a showing at 12:25, so that's what we'd planned to see.  however, when we got to the theatre, we were told the next showing wasn't until 2:55!!!  *boggle*  apparently they'd had others point that out already, because the gal wasn't surprised by our showing up & asking for the 12:25 robin hood! 

annnnnd, because of that mix-up, we got to see the movie of our choice for free!!!!  : )  that was pretty nifty.  since jan hadn't seen Iron Man2, and since i had really enjoyed it, we saw that one.  i enjoyed it a lot a lot a lot the 2nd time around!  since i didn't have to concentrate on the backstory parts (which were kinda cobbled together) i could enjoy the banter btwn all the characters, and laugh a lot more! 

i needed that laughter, too, because after the movie... it was 2:30, happy hour!  i wanted a sparkling lemonade, and convinced jan to stop on our way to grammy's.  they were quite busy, and not moving fast enough... the car at the speaker wasn't going anywhere, and it didn't even look like they were ordering, so jan got out of the car (ayup) and went up to them to ask what was going on.  apparently they hadn't even taken this car's order yet!!  jan disappeared somewhere & when she got back in the car, the car at the box had moved.  the other 2 cars in front of us moved fairly quickly past the speaker.  then there was another hold up at the window.  jan was not so happy with all of this!! 

well, then when we got to the window, she ordered a sonic blast!  at the window!  after complaining about the ppl in front of us taking a long time!  (am i the only one who sees the irony here?)  she gets her blast & apparently it didn't have candy on top of it, as it usually does.  she asked the gal at the window & the gal said, "i promise, there's butterfinger in there."  well... there must not have been, because jan dug around in the shake & didn't find any.  she put it in the freezer at grammy's to take back on the way home. 

whew!

but wait, there's more!!!  *laugh* 

before we could get started with the game, mom & jan had to take care of some things for grammy.  mom & grammy won game 1 & jan & i won game 2, so we were all winners today!  : )  at one point, we were talking about musicals that i'd been in at church when i was little - an my mother actually had the audacity to tell me i was remembering things incorrectly because she didn't think i'd ever been in a play at church.  *boggle*  thanks, mom, glad to know you were paying attention while i was growing up!!  lol  oye.  anyway, for the record, i was in at least two church musicals, AND i even had speaking parts!!  so there. 

yeesh.  what a trip! 

after the games, we headed back to sonic.  ohhhh... i really can not even fathom how these ppl are trained.  it started out okay - jan explained what was displeasing to her (her butterfinger blast was basically a vanilla shake) and the lady at the window actually apologized and made a new blast w/ a good amount of butterfinger pieces in it!  however, she included a fork.  jan noticed this & honked to get their attention (and it wasn't a rude honk, it was a short lil "attention please" honk).  when someone came to the window, jan asked for a spoon and held the fork up.  the lady said to her, in a VERY SNOTTY voice, "we're out of spoons from this new promotion (or she may have said special, i'm unclear on that word)."  um, hello?  shouldn't you have said something about that when you handed your customer a FORK for ice cream??  and NOT in a snotty voice?  yeah. 

i wish i had the will power to boycott places, but i just don't.  except for the BK on rockingham.  that one i've stuck to for 10 years.  LOL  even when my cousins worked there, i refused to give them my business! 

i just don't get how ppl are being trained today.  the norm used to be excellent customer service w/ a few bad apple in the bunch.  now, it seems like you're lucky to get lukewarm customer service.  what is the deal?  anyone?  anyone?  *laugh* 

okay, i'm going to listen to some pandora & then hit the hay.  no plans for tomorrow until misha's grad party in the evening.  can't wait to see the cousins i have not seen in too long!!  i hope your memorial day went well, and that you were able to ponder the sacrifices made by our men & women in the armed forces.  never forget and never, ever, ever surrender. 

(unless you're surrendering to God, and then i approve!  *wink*)

love, and ttfn!

Memorial Day

 this morning i was reading one of the PW blogs, and she has many interesting facts about Memorial Day.  i'll let you go & read them, but she also had this poem.  i'm not usually big into poetry.  it doesn't "move" me the way it does a lot of ppl.  but sometimes i write poems, and sometimes those i read DO touch me unexpectedly.  she shared one such poem, which i now share with you.  it is a WW1 era poem, called In Flanders Fields by John McCrae.


In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved, and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Remember that we aren't observing this 3 day weekend because it's the "start of summer."  Tho it does mark that.  We are blessed in this country to have men and women who volunteer to defend it.  We are blessed to have had people who were willing to fight for our freedom.  Now is not the time to focus on any issues you may have with todays governemnt, or the practices of the military you don't agree with.  Today is the day to say THANK YOU to our men & women in uniform, because they deserve to be celebrated. 

Lord, please keep our soldiers (and police, and firefighters, etc.) safe, Amen. 

/public service announcement.  : )  ttfn.

esteban

i have lady gaga's alejandro in my head, and thinking of the name alejandro makes me think of the name esteban, which i love. 

mom & i saw Prince of Persia, and it was good!  very actiony, and i thought the plot was quite good, despite the review i read.  it - along w/ the very ORANGE moon tonight - made me think of magic, and how sometimes i am sad that real magic doesn't exist.  the kind of magic that pulls from the elements and creates new things.  the kind of fantasy magic of lore - Charmed kinda magic.  Harry Potter kinda magic.  i know we have something better (i.e., miracles!), but come on!  magic! 

can you imagine, tho, if that kind of magic did exist?  for like regular ppl, i mean.  if we all had the ability to work the elements, wouldn't that be neat?  until someone got mad and in a moment of pique shot a column of fire at someone for cutting them off in traffic.  *laugh*  that could get harry.  hairy?  hmmm.  yes, hairy, i think.  anywhoo!  that's probably the reason that kind of magic doesn't exist - the corruption of man.  look what we do w/ the powers we are given!  oye. 

okay, moving on!  after the movie, we did go to WM, and i finally got TP and tortillas!  and forgot drano yet again... what is that about?!  it was funny, shopping with mom.  i forgot how she shops.  and realized where i got one of the things that annoys me about myself shopping - staring at a product for a long time, comparing price, type, etc.  it's cuz of HER!  lol  oh my heck!  i was like "just pick something!"  oye.  what i was thinking would be a 1/2 hour trip turned into 2 hours, and i didn't get home til nearly 9!!  it wasn't bad, tho, just i was quite dehydrated by the end.  (i know i was dehydrated because i felt horrible and then i chugged about 5 oz of water & immediately felt better.)  also, i had fun texting w/ becca, so that was cool!   : )

tomorrow it's supposed to rain, so no zoo.  : (  but i think i'll see a movie w/ aunt jan, maybe get lunch.  idk, depends on her schedule!  whatever i end up doing, it should be a fun day anyway, just like today!! 

ttfn!

88 degrees

it's not terrible outside, tho.  i think of anything over 75 as horribly hot and humid, but today the humidity must not be bad.  i went outside a minute ago and could breathe, anyway, so that's a plus.  however, it felt reallllly good to come back in the a/c!  : ) 

i'm having kinda a ... hmm.  i don't know what to call it.  i need to go to WM to get TP & drano & tortillas & see if the dr called in for my rx to be refilled as i requested.  i shouldn't've waited until a holiday weekend to do that last one, but alas, i did, so there we are.  i'm having a mental block, there, tho, and i don't understand it!  i ran in to WM yesterday for a lighter, what was stopping me from going to the other end...oh, wait, i remember, i need to get some things that should be refridgerated also and didn't want to leave them in the car while i was in the movies w/ mom.  okay, that makes sense.  but then, why didn't i run back in after the movie & get the things i needed?  and today, mom's picking me up at 4 & we're going to see Prince of Persia.  i'd planned to go out at 2 to WM so i'd be back in time.  yet... i can't.  i don't know what is stopping me!  i'm not having a panic attack.  i'm not feeling poorly (thank God).  as mentioned, it's not unbearable outside.  and i'm not even having a block about leaving the house, as sometimes happens.  i'm excited to go to the theatre.  maybe, is it WM itself that i am blocking?  but for what reason?  i love WM! 

perhaps it's the lack of checks throwing me off.  paying in cash is different, just a different vibe, and you have to actually take the right amount out of the bank, as opposed to checks where if you go in thinking you'll spend $30 and you find a couple other things, it's okay.  well, as long as you have the money in your account,  of course!  *laugh*  i don't have a debit card because i don't think i would remember to put each transaction in my register.  i try to keep receipts for future reference, but it doesn't always work out! 

i realize there are ppl naturally attuned to things like that, and if you're one of those ppl reading this, you probably do not understand at all.  you're thinking, "just do it!  how hard is it?"  well, of course it's not hard.  unless you're like me, and it IS. 

*sigh*  anyway, i think the only thing for it is to go after the movie before mom brings me home.  that way i don't have the daunting task of driving over there (is that what it is?  do i not want to drive today?)... we'll see how it goes.  for now, i'm drinking a tall glass of ice water, because the grape vanilla sprite or sparky cherry coke i was going to get at sonic does not appear to be in my immediate future.  *laugh*  (oh, the dilemmas, delimmas?, i know!)

oh, speaking of sparky cherry cokes... so... our local theatre changed recently from National Amusements to Rave.  i haven't noticed a lot of differences, except... Rave is a COKE establishment!  *tear*  now, for the coke fans, i'm sure this was a marvelous thing!  but for me, a lover of mountain dew and cherry pepsi at the concessions... well, not so much.  the bright light at the end of this tunnel, however, is that their coke is at least GOOD coke.  the coke at the theatre across the river is decidedly not, as it's not terribly bubbly.  and their popcorn is not as good.  Rave has continued the NA tradition of good popcorn and yummy butter topping, so i can't complain about that at all! 

is it weird that i have all these rambling thoughts about everything and nothing almost every day? 

hmm.  well, tune in for more, i'm sure, when i get back from the movie!  ; )  for now, ta-ta!

and i am telling you...

about today, staycation 2010, day 2.  : ) 

today i learned about steam punk, here.  (seriously, linking has apparently become my new toy!  LOL)  doesn't it look just right up my alley?  all romantic & sci fi & historical at the same time!  yet, i've never really heard of it.  i'd heard the term, once, in reference to a character on NCIS, and lumped it in to the goth movement.  it's so much cooler, tho!  it's like... League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.  i also learned some interesting things about chickens (like, i actually think they are kinda cute.  huh.  i don't remember thinking that about chickens before.  i don't even really like birds.  however, today, i looked at the pictures of chickens and went "awww."  strange?!).

nate's bday party seemed to be a success!  i only stayed for the present opening.  i didn't bring leyton, and i was getting a little nervous w/ all the ppl.  and it's not like there were a ton of ppl, just ... idk!  but the cake was amaaaazing!  becca got it from OTB & it was in the shape of a rocket.  cool beans!! 

this afternoon, mom & i saw Iron Man 2.  i really enjoyed it!  mom wasn't sure if she liked it as well as the first one.  i thought they did a pretty good job, tho.  : )  after the movie, we went to red robin for dinner & i had a teryaki chicken sammich.  basically it was like the banzai burger, only w/ chicken, and it was very, very delicious! 

i got home around 7 & continued my Drop Dead Diva season 1 marathon.  love love!!  also got to IM w/ darin a little bit.  : )  he doesn't really IM me a lot, or talk to me more than our "wulf!" "darin!" routine, so when he does it makes me feel... nice.  he's been a good friend to april thru the years, and i like that.  it's hard to explain.  *laugh*  anyway, i was happy to talk to him for a minute, even if he did make me do MATH!  LOL

should have gone to WM because i forgot a couple things (um, TP!!) but i have enough to get me thru til tomorrow, so i just came home & i'll hopefully have the gumption to go tomorrow!  i also need drano & a couple food items - if i have enough cash!  dratted not having checks being all difficult & such. 

i hope everyone's saturday went well & that you got to enjoy the gorgeous weather!!  : )  ttfn!!! 

Full Staycation Day #1

what did i do today, my first full day of staycation?

SLEPT!!!  well, okay, just til 9:30-ish.  ; )  was ready & outta the house by 1.  mostly because i wanted to check something online (uh-oh) and email dave about timecards (d'oh!  i still forgot to do that!) and time got away from me.  heh.  finally i dragged my butt outta the house, went to WM and murphy.  brought the groceries (erm.  cheese & milk & little debbie & that odwalla drink i talk about here.) home & then went to the bank.  i finally got GLEE vol 3 soundtrack, so i was pretty much jamming out to that.  : ) 

i got 3 new post card assignments from postcrossing, so i wrote those up & went to the PO to mail them.  got my mail on the way back - new People!  kate g. & the kiddos are on the cover.  should be an interesting - if biased toward kate - article.  the kids look happy on the cover, tho, so kate mustn't have withheld their water yet. 

got to chat w/ april finally today.  feels like fo-evah!  *laugh*  we've both been pretty swamped!  joy must be, too, cuz we got to chat recently, but then my computer crapped out, then the next time hers must've (or someone came over to distract her...*wink wink*  LOL)!  anyway, it was nice, we are looking forward to summer shows (now that all the season finales of the fall shows have aired!). 

one of the postcards i was assigned today is going to one of the states & the gal has a blog.  so i decided to take a look.  LOVE it!!  am now a follower.  turns out micaela has a twinsie (twinkie, they call each other), marianne, and she also has a blog!  am now a follower of that one as well.  : )  later, i'm not sure how i found it, but am now following another new blog.  i just adore that there are so many amazing ppl writing blogs.  i feel like we're kindred spirits!  even tho we're in idaho, ohio, west virginia, maryland, nebraska, iowa, illinois, north carolina, utah, texas, florida, minnesota, oklahoma, and many other states (and countries!) - we visit a lot of the same blogs, such as postcrossing and post secret.  we have the same love for photography, writing, kids, travel.  we watch a lot of the same TV shows (Lost!  DDD!), enjoy a variety of movies, books, and music.  we not only adore writing, but reading each other's quirky thoughts as well. 

so, if you have time, check them out and let me know what ya think!

for now, i must go to bed.  i'm about to fall asleep on my keyboard - and i just can't pull off the key imprint look!  ; ) take care & ttfn!! 

Staycation 2010 has begun!

and let me tell ya, i am soooooo happy about it!!  this week has been awesome, but so overwhelming!  tis the season for interns at work, which means a whole new crop of ppl filling out timecards - or having issues filling out timecards!  *laugh*  i was only at work for 4 hours thursday, and 3 of those were spent solving timecard riddles.  : )  i also had a really interesting meeting for an hour.  oh, and the food day - wow!  so much delicious food, which i got to enjoy for breakfast and lunch. 

the plan was to meet mom & leyton at the family museum at 1, but i decided i would just meet them at home at 3.  i ran some errands - filled out the rest of my radio survey & mailed that along w/ some bills.  oh, and speaking of that survey, they sent me another $1!  : )  i believe they'll send me $10 once they get my survey back.  cool beans!  i had to go to the bank as well, and ... i went somewhere else, i thought?  hmmm.  idk! 

anyway, came home for 1/2 an hour to change & whatnot, then headed to mom's.  leyton wanted to play outside, so...

can you see the ball stuck under my car?

problem solver leyton will rescue it!!

and then kick it into the neighbors yard, so he'll have a better excuse to watch the guys working w/ a cement truck & bobcat.  : ) 

it was really fun, chasing the ball around, and then when it got too warm for me - aunt carrie's a wimp about heat, leyton is discovering! - i pulled up a chair & sat in the shade of the carport.  it was nice in there.  i had some lemon water and there was a breeze.  of course, the lemon water was using the ice & lemon from my earlier sonic sparkling lemonade, so guess who comandeered the cup?

: )

after a couple hours playing in the sun, mom got home from taking grammy to the hairdresser, so i went into the a/c for a few minutes!  then we went to ihop for dinner.  was going to be incredible pizza, but leyton'd had a pretty full day (and no nap - he is a boy after his aunt carrie's heart, he likes his sleep!) and he chose IHOP.  it takes a little bit to get there from mom's, so he took a little catnap.  then, when we got there, he woke up & decided he wanted to go to chick fil a.  except we didn't have any socks for him to be able to play in the play area!  d'oh!  so, we convinced him that pancakes would be okay, he suddenly got his second wind, and he was off into the restaurant!!  : ) 

he & gramma played a lovely game of "got your nose."  LOL 

as you can see, they both enjoyed it!  leyton was a happy little boy, and that's how we like him.  (except when he's being naughty, and he knows he's being naughty, and he tries something like this:

to get out of it. 

it doesn't work.

aunt carrie and gramma are not pushovers.

um.  much.) 

: )

ttfn! 

blessings and monotony

sometimes i get caught up in the monotony of my life.  the ennui that i've mentioned before grips me and i feel like i SHOULD be happy, but i'm not.  i think the not-happy feeling is just part of a depression that is always under the surface.  it's something i fight against. 

my weapon of choice is to remember the blessings.  when i'm feeling overwhelmed at work - like this week, yesterday especially! - i praise the Lord for my job, for the enjoyment i get from my job. i praise Him for the opportunities, the puzzles i get to solve, the ppl i've met and get to connect with... and yes, having a paycheck is a blessing! 

i don't want to take the blessings for granted.  i have lived hardship, but even my  hardship compared to others' was not that bad.  sometimes living in my own head is hard, but not as hard as someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, you know?  each of us, no matter how blessed or how happy, has something to struggle with.  it's part of life, and it's a part i'm grateful for (mostly! lol).  without the struggle, life really WOULD be monotonous.  we would become like the illegal immigrants i spoke of the other day, feeling entitled to things we didn't have to work for.  which is not to say i think everyone should have to work for everything all of the time.  i said the struggle was PART of life, not the whole kit & kaboodle! 

as i said this week has been particularly trying for me, mentally exhausting, not just at work.  things swirl around in my head (financial, medical, family, friends, country, world) that i just have to pray thru because there's no other way around it.  i don't have an answer for how to handle some things, and i just have to turn to the Lord and say, "Please."  i beg for healing, for strength, for wisdom, for patience, for trust - those last two are usually pretty easy for me, but some days ... some days i crack a little insdie. 

the prayers - along with the writing - keep me sane.  talking to the Lord, knowing in my heart that He hears me and cares about me, trusting Him that even if the answer is "not now" He is listening to my daily prayers and His heart feels what i'm feeling. 

(i don't think i've shared this story here before, but if i have, sorry for the repeat!)  i have an acquaintance, someone i just reconnected with after many years, who is catholic.  we were talking about prayer (she makes rosaries, beautiful rosaries!), and how she loves knowing that she is helping to get prayer beads into ppl's hands.  i love that!  i love the rosary.  i love the prayers - yes, even the prayers to mary.  i don't know quite how i feel about "praying" to mary, so much, but i like the prayer itself.  if that makes any sense at all to anyone outside myself, i do not know!!  one thing that my friend said, however, that i really struggle with, is her belief that they pray to mary because she intercedes btwn us and Jesus, and He can't say no to His mother.  this ... i was going to say "disturbed me" but i'm not sure that's the correct sentiment.  it unsettled me, because it's my belief that we don't need an intercessory between us and Jesus.  Jesus is our intercessor btwn us and our Father.  we can appeal directly to God the Father, but no one can get to the Father but thru the Son.  that's a biblical truth.  i don't recall anywhere in the Bible, it talking about anyone needing to go to Jesus on behalf of anyone else.  do you see what i'm saying? 

now, i'm not saying that's the way all catholics look at prayers to mary, or even that my friend's way of thinking is wrong.  there's a whole "prayer to the saints" tangent as well, but i don't know enough about beliefs on that - my aunt judy & i discussed it once, and i remember thinking that the way she explained it made sense, sort of, but now i can't remember what that explanation was!  (i'm having dinner w/ her & jenni on wednesday, i'll have to ask again!)  prayer is a personal thing, a private thing unless you are praying in agreement with someone, as in someone sharing a request for prayer.  so, for that reason, i don't think i would say ANY form of prayer was wrong. 

wow.  as usual, when my thoughts get going and communicate with my fingers, i've written a whole post that is completely different from where i thought i was going when i started - but it fits so well just the same!! 

last night my computer wouldn't let me upload photos, so i'm going to attempt to share some of yesterday's outdoor fun w/ leyton in a new post.  see you soon!  : ) 

lemon

7:50 am - go to sonic.  order what i THINK is their new sparkling lemonade. 
7:55 am - take drink of lemonade as i'm driving.  realize it doesn't taste "sparkling."
7:57 am - look at receipt.  notice they gave me "lemonade light add strawberry."
7:58 am - GRRRR sonic does it again!  wonder if they actually TRAIN their employees. 
8:15 am - arrive to bridge.  they are now working on the right lane, which in theory should speed things up, as ppl will naturally get in the left lane so they don't have to do the every other car thing w/ the oncoming traffic. 
8:16 am - wonder why ppl are zooming by in the right lane.
8:17 am - rail at the ppl who went zooming by as brake lights start to pepper the bridge.
8:20 am - narrowly miss getting chloe's nose sliced off by giant truck deciding to come into the left lane, sans any type of signalling device usage.
8:25 am - wonder if i'll make it to work on time.
8:31 am - pull into parking space close to door & thank God.
8:33 am - thank God again for someone's fortuitous placement of bagels & cream cheese in break room.
8:35 am - munch on bagel & LOTS of cream cheese as computer boots up.  begin insanely crazy busy day.


this crazy day (hey!  i heard that sigh of relief that i stopped the minute to minute.  hush now!)... this crazy week!  i'm very grateful for being busy, that's for sure.  but i have spent all week on problems & meetings & solving puzzles & whatnot, have not had time to do any of my paperwork.  only there for 1/2 a day tomorrow (YAYYY!!!!) and i have a couple of meetings for that 1/2!  lol 


had a PM meeting, which went well, was told i'm doing an awesome job & all these things, so that was nice to hear.  was also told i need to work on "non-verbal cues" when listening to ppl, when i disagree.  apparently i give off a "i disagree with you" vibe.  but only when i disagree!  and i asked if, when i give off this vibe, is it inconsistant w/ what i verbalize?  the answer was no.  so... if i look like i disagree with you because i actually disagree w/ you... how is that a bad thing?  i see it as being honest.  (as you all know, by now i think, just because i disagree with you doesn't mean i am closed off to hearing your opinion on a given subject!)  i would much rather let someone know that i disagree with them and why right away, rather than feel like i was lying.  and anyway, i'm above target in the area we were discussing, so i'm not really worried about it.  tho i did appreciate the feedback, as being aware of how ppl perceive me/my actions is helpful. 


one thing that was certainly not helpful - especially after having spent all week on problems & puzzles & the like - was hearing that there is a disconnect btwn the work i'm actually doing and the way that work is "ranked."  it's hard to explain without going into too many details - the thing is that it's frustrating to hear you're doing a great job & you're appreciated on the one hand, but only in this little box we've placed you in on the other.  and the "we" aren't even the ppl who are directly involved in what you're doing.  it's this random group that doesn't even know what goes on day to day & has just categorized things willy nilly (in my opinion, phhht!).  i just don't get it. 


i just felt like, all my hard work and everything i do for the company is appreciated by my direct line of power, but not further.  farther?  anywhoo!  as i said in the meeting, i at least have to bring things up every once in awhile to keep it fresh in ppl's minds...


speaking of fresh in ppl's minds... i did some cruise directing & set up our team meeting today & sent out a vote for our summer birthday celebrations.  a couple ppl suggested a picnic, so i put it out to a vote & so far (as of 5:20 when i left) it's neck & neck, with 5 votes for and 5 votes against.  there are 6 votes still out there, i think.  i like the picnic idea, just for the get out into the fresh air for awhile & away from the office.  however, this celebration happens in july, and it could be HOT out!  so, an indoor picnic in the AC would be good for me, too.  ; ) 


as i said, i left a little late because i was working on some rejection emails & help desk tickets.  i stopped at (a different from this morning) sonic & got an actual sparkling lemonade & it was perfect!  : )  i was supposed to stop by hy vee to get chips & salsa for tomorrow's food day in honor of a soon-to-be-retiree, but phil & becca were both stopping by to pick a couple things up, so i needed to get home!  i was starving, too!  lunch had been mashed potatoes & gravy, because i'd forgotten about my chicken fried rice in the freezer.  d'oh!  and i was supposed to be dining at applebee's w/ trish & marcie, but there was a change of plans.  of course i wasn't in the mood for anything in my pantry or fridge.  finally i was going to make a pasta dish, but didn't have any milk.  whoops!  another thing i should have picked up at the store, along with cheese.  anyway, so i decided to make chicken ramen w/ eggs & mushrooms.  turned out pretty tastey!  : ) 


got phil squared awawy & he stayed to chat for awhile.  he left about 5 minutes before becca & nate got here, and they visited for awhile.  nate pointed out a BEAUTIFUL rainbow right outside my door.  i should've taken a picture!!  d'oh! 


with all of that excitement... *laugh*  oh, and mom called & we chatted for a bit.  we're going to have fun tomorrow, but no zoo because she has to take grammy to get her hair did in the afternoon.  ah well, i think she & i are going to join becca & nate at the zoo on monday & then catch a movie, so it's all good!  (in the hood with the gin & the juice...does anyone else say that or is it just me?)  and i did get to watch GLEEEEEEE (awesome lady gaga episode!) & NCIS & LA & Miami, which were all awesome finales!! 


i think that concludes my day-sharing for now!  so excited for a few days off, i can not even tell you!  : ) have a great night/day & i'll chat at ya again soon!  ; )  ttfn! 


ohhhh... yes... there was also an incident on my way home.  lol  it was a gorgeous afternoon, sky-wise! 

and then we had a couple clouds... the first one looks like a cowboy to me, the second, a mouse.  what do you think??

there was a guy behind me riding my bumper, i tried to take a picture of him but only got my backseat.  however, it served a different purpose - he saw the camera & backed off!  : )  that was AWESOME, seriously.  : )

goodnight! 

remember - part II

my previous post... i titled it "remember" because i had this whole paragraph about our veterans, and how they fought for our freedoms, which we tend to take for granted.  memorial day is coming up, and it's not just a day off work to have a BBQ & kick off summer.  it's about remembering those who fought wars, those who are fighting wars today, and who have sacrificed their time, their families, and sometimes their lives.  it's about being proud of your father/mother, brother/sister, uncle/aunt, grandpa/grandma, son/daughter, friend, cousin, neighbor - for choosing to be a part of the military, whatever branch, and whatever job they do.  in times of peace, and times of war, they are the backbone of our country, and are working every day to keep our country safe. 

that being said, this post is about celebrity apprentice and bret michaels!  woooooot!!!!!  : )  did you watch?  do you watch the donald's shows?  oh my goodness.  first of all, i avoided MSN all day yesterday because i wasn't going to have time to watch both Lost and Apprentice, and Lost was more important.  *laugh*  i didn't want to know who won before i watched.  and i didn't find out, until... FB!  i'd joined the bret michaels page awhile back just to get updates on his condition & make sure he was okay (stop laughing).  of course, the actual "yay! bret!" postings were long gone, but the notices that he would be doing the today show, regis & kelly, etc., were all over the place when i opened up.  so, of course, i'm thinking, "HE WON!!!"  heh.  still, it was a great finale!  he & holly both did awesome jobs, but i am soooooo happy he won!!!  so proud of him!  now, he needs to get off all these talk shows & take a nap, darn it!  i don't want him to drop dead from exhaustion. 

i almost didn't get to watch it tonight, tho - when i got home, my internet was all wonky.  pooh!  i called tech support (whose recording, btw, suggested that i could visit their website if that was more convenient - thanks, but i'm calling because the internet's not working!  :p~~~) and was able to get it resolved, which was nice.  : )  meanwhile, tho, i watched Fame.  makes me wanna dance!  *laugh*  really, i should do that for a work out - watch all the various dance scenes from my favorite movies!! 

today over all was a much better day than yesterday - altho i didn't get to see leyton today, so yesterday already won.  lol  it was BUSY once again, but i didn't have any meetings, so i felt more on solid ground to work thru the investigations & such.  : )  plus, i'm one day closer to my staycation!!!  woot! 

lunch time was funny today.  we wanted to go to el pavito, but they were closed, so we went across the street to fields of pizza.  (trish abhors pizza, but they apparently have good fried chicken, so she was in.)  we sat down w/ our buffet plates & noticed... the sign for EP now said "open."  lol  apparently, even tho the sign says they open at 11, today they opened at 11:30.  unfortunately that lost them $25 (at least) in business!!  ah well, FoP has a delicious buffet - not very big, but tastey!

got a text from sarahbug - no DM zoo in july.  : (  i'm very disappointed, but i understand her reasonings.  *sigh*  so, perhaps i can convince mom & leyton & anthony we all need to go there this summer!  ; )  we'll see!  

i think i've been very chatty today, sorry!  but not sorry, i needed to share!  : )  *HUGS*  i hope you all are having a great week!  nicki, i hope training is going well!!  ttfn! 

Remember

my friend christina sent me an email that i'm going to share with you at the end of this post.  i could forward it on to those in my address book, as i have done with other emails she sent me tonight.  this one is different, tho. 

there is a debate going on in this country right now over immigration, and what it means to immigrate to the United States of America.  i've bolded and italic'd a couple points in the letter below that i think epitomize what it should mean.  instead, what seems to be happening (and where did it start?) is that ppl have a sense of entitlement when coming - ILLEGALLY - to this country.  they* (a generalization, i am fully aware that not all legal immigrants are saints or illegal immigrants lazy or criminal) don't want to work.  they don't want to go through proper channels.  they think, "i made it here!  now, where's my paycheck?  where's my american dream?" 

ya know what?  i was born here and i've had to work my butt off for my american dream.  get over yourself and WORK for it!  i have a job, i pay taxes, i pay into insurance and have a deductible.  i won't go into how much, but suffice it to say that (thank God) i don't reach it.  i could, potentially, with my prescriptions, but then i couldn't use my HSA to pay for them, so... there ya go.  the point, tho, is that i am 'by the book' and can't afford medical care.  it upsets me that ppl can waltz into the country and have better health care - more accessible, affordable or even free - than i do.  it upsets me when i have to skip doses of medication or choose btwn medication and a checkup.  it upsets me to hear ppl fight for RIGHTS for ppl who have no legal right to be here.  why should someone from a different country have more of a RIGHT to medical care than i do?  why should my taxes go toward paying for their medical care, when my wages can't pay for mine? 

did you know that in mexico they can SHOOT you for being there illegally?  not really.  but their laws for illegal immigrants are errily similar to arizona's laws.  laws, by the way, which were ALREADY IN PLACE, they just are choosing to *gasp* enforce them.  i know, enforcing the law, it's a shocking twist.  and in this country, when the law IS enforced, illegal immigrants are (generally) treated with respect pertaining to their humanity.  in other countries, if you're caught being there illegally... well, do you remember what happened to lisa ling's sister, laura, in north korea? 

and so, i leave you with this letter to the editor that i received in my email.  i'm off to write an entertaining blog about celebrity apprentice.  because i paid for this computer, and the internet flowing through my wires!  : )  let me know what you think, eh? 

*********************

"David LaBonte"


My wife, Rosemary, wrote a wonderful letter to the editor of the OC Register which, of course, was not printed. So, I decided to "print" it myself by sending it out on the Internet. Pass it along if you feel so inclined. Written in response to a series of letters to the editor in theOrange County Register:

Dear Editor:

So many letter writers have based their arguments on how this land is made up of immigrants. Ernie Lujan for one, suggests we should tear down the Statue of Liberty because the people now in question aren't being treated the same as those who passed through Ellis Island and other ports of entry.

Maybe we should turn to our history books and point out to people like Mr. Lujan why today's American is not willing to accept this new kind of immigrant any longer. Back in 1900 when there was a rush from all areas of Europe to come to the United States, people had to get off a ship and stand in a long line in New York and be documented. Some would even get down on their hands and knees and kiss the ground. They made a pledge to uphold the laws and support their new country in good and bad times. They made learning English a primary rule in their new American households and some even changed their names to blend in with their new home.

They had waved good bye to their birth place to give their children a new life and did everything in their power to help their children assimilate into one culture. Nothing was handed to them. No free lunches, no welfare, no labor laws to protect them. All they had were the skills and craftsmanship they had brought with them to trade for a future of prosperity.

Most of their children came of age when World War II broke out. My father fought along side men whose parents had come straight over from Germany , Italy , France and Japan . None of these 1st generation Americans ever gave any thought about what country their parents had come from. They were Americans fighting Hitler, Mussolini and the Emperor of Japan . They were defending the United States of America as one people.

When we liberated France , no one in those villages were looking for the French-American or the German American or the Irish American. The people of France saw only Americans. And we carried one flag that represented one country. Not one of those immigrant sons would have thought about picking up
another country's flag and waving it to represent who they were. It would have been a disgrace to their parents who had sacrificed so much to be here. These immigrants truly knew what it meant to be an American. They stirred the melting pot into one red, white and blue bowl.

And here we are with a new kind of immigrant who wants the same rights and privileges. Only they want to achieve it by playing with a different set of rules, one that includes the entitlement card and a guarantee of being faithful to their mother country. I'm sorry, that's not what being an American is all about. I believe that the immigrants who landed on Ellis Island in the early 1900's deserve better than that for all the toil, hard work and sacrifice in raising future generations to create a land that has become a beacon for those legally searching for a better life. I think they would be appalled that they are being used as an example by those waving foreign country flags.

And for that suggestion about taking down the Statue of Liberty , it happens to mean a lot to the citizens who are voting on the immigration bill. I wouldn't start talking about dismantling the United States just yet.

(signed)

Rosemary LaBonte

Lost

i am about 1/2 way thru the Lost finale.  and, as i said on FB - what the weirdness, charlie brown?!  just when i am like "yes!  yay!" and all teary happy, it throws me a curve & i'm like, nooooo!  *laugh*  but did you watch??  what did you think?  i'll have more when i see how it all ends... i hope i'm happy with it.  i really really really want to like the ending.  i have loved this show from the beginning - and then i gave up on it for a season and a half - and then i loved it again.  even when everyone was like "WTH?" 

okay... took a pause, and i have to say... i did like it, but have to wonder about  - where were michael & walt?  what are we supposed to take from that?  i'll be interested to discuss w/ other losties. 

today was CRAZY.  got up at 6:30, marty picked me up about 20 minutes later, went to the meeting at HQ.  okay, i know some ppl find these meetings very interesting.  and sometimes i'm one of them.  but today just was not holding my interest.  i did perk up for the safety portion, but then it kinda irritated me.  *laugh*  got back to the office around 9:30 & dealt w/ the explosion of email & messages & whatnots.  the plan for lunch was haefner's but then i had an impromptu retirement vacation meeting, and trish ended up having to leave w/o me.  d'oh!  it worked out okay, tho, because there was baked potato soup in the cafe & that's one of my favorites.  and i only spent $3 for lunch instead of $7!  ; )  i'll probably spend $7 tomorrow now.  lol  anywhoo!  because of the impromptu meeting, i got invited to a 1 o'clock meeting on the same subject, and that was fun!  it was only supposed to be an hour, but ended up being an hour & a half.  so then i missed trish on break!  *pout*  but she let me bum a smoke *smile*, so i got to say hi at least!  *laugh* 

then i had another meeting at 3:30, and in between all that, my email just kept growing!  i didn't even have time to research some of the answers!!  so, that's what i'll be working on tomorrow!  i do love my research time, though!  it's a blessing, solving puzzles & getting answers for ppl.  4 o'clock was quittin' time since we started at 7:30, and i was exhausted! 

of course, my evening was just beginning.  marty dropped me at home & i changed into loungewear, grabbed phil's birthday cards (yes, there were two - baby brother only turns THIRTY once you know!) & headed to sonic for a strawberry lemonade.  except they made it a limeade.  and you know i love the limeades!  still, i wanted a lemonade, so i took it back.  then i was not impressed with the attitude i received.  first of all, when i ordered a strawberry lemonade, they repeated back to me a lemonade and i corrected them.  they then repeated it back correctly.  and they STILL made it incorrectly.  when i drove back around, they all were staring at me out the door, like, "she didn't stop at the squawk box, did she?  why is she back?"  then the gal who'd taken my order came out & i told her the mix up & she just stared at me & went back in.  no apology, no sense of anything but annoyance.  and that could have just been my perception, it's perfectly possible that she thought she apologized.  i don't think so, tho... because when she handed me my new drink, i don't think it was a lemonade.  i think it was a strawberry sprite.  which i did not discover until i was already out of there, of course.  why didn't i take a drink before driving away?  i've no idea.  probably because i was thinking, "there's no way they'd screw it up TWICE!"  yeah, shows what I know!  lol 

anyway, i mean it's not a big deal as far as the drink goes - they're all the same price and i like them, so whatever.  what annoys me is the total lack of acceptance for doing a poor job, AND not even trying to do the right job the 2nd time.  and do you know why that is?  NO CONSEQUENCES!  seriously, it's even SURVEY time for these ppl & they aren't concerned with getting it right.  that tells me that there's no real reason for them to GET it right.  i will say, tho, that it's not everyone there, i think it's just a few "bad apples."  because - let's face it, i'm there on average 4 out of 7 days a week.  i'm spending $8-10 there a week on drinks!!  (well, probably less because 1/2 of the time i'm there for happy hour)  *sigh* 

after the drink scenario, i picked up frosties for phil & leyton & headed over there to play.  we had some fun, even tho the poor kid was totally tuckered out from a fun day at the zoo, and no nap!  he was CRRRAAAANNNNKKKYYYY, too!  it was alright, tho.  we watched Bibleman & played & ate waffles.  : )  when mom got home, she was a whirlwind & not really paying attention to either of us.  i left, but then leyton came out, crying because he wanted to tell me a secret before i left.  there really wasn't anything, he just wanted more hugs & love you's.  : )  i obliged, of course!  mom gave us hugs, too, and apologized for not doing so as soon as she got home.  i think it was bath & bed after i left for real!  heh. 

who could get mad at him for tantrums??  not me! 

made it home a little after 9, got to chat w/ joy for a brief moment, watched Lost & voila! 

now, no time for Apprentice (who won??) - i think i'll go find out but will watch tomorrow.  i need to sleep!  ; )  i hope you all had a great day & if you watch Lost, let me know what you thought, please!  also if you have problems (or not) w/ a food chain you can't bring yourself to boycott because you love their product!  : )

ttfn!

oil.

image from http://www.sindhtoday.net/news/2/133931.htm

since i don't watch TV in a normal fashion, and there are just SO MANY stories to read and not all that much time, i haven't really any idea what's going on with the oil spill off the gulf of mexico.  other than, of course, the fact that it's still leaking.  a month later.  what's the deal?  i don't understand how there's not a shut-off valve.  i don't understand how the failsafes that should have been in place, weren't, or how they failed.  i don't understand how, if Dawn can clean off the animals that have been tragically bogged down in this spill, that there's not a way to use it in the water.  (okay, i understand the ocean would be a big bubblebath, but still gotta be better than oil, right?!)

and so far, i haven't heard how this is going to impact gas prices.  has that been mentioned?  gas prices around here had been in the $2.59/$2.63 range on the iowa side, almost $3 on the illinois side.  suddenly the other day it dropped to $2.53, so i filled chloe up!  : )  then, today, it was $2.51!!!  now, next weekend is a holiday weekend & prices usually go up a bit during those in a normal situation.  but we're not in a normal situation.  

how many ecosystems are being destroyed?  how many ramifications are there that we haven't even thought of yet?  

all we can do right now is pray, pray, pray.  and try to figure out where we go from here.  

ttfn.   

day of rest

today was a very nice day of rest.  i was up in plenty of time to meet becca at church... but unfortunately it was also plenty of time for me to give myself a panic attack thinking about all the ppl!  mrrrrh!  i cleaned the kitchen & laundry area, but was still too jittery so i made the call that i wouldn't be meeting her and set about getting over the guilt. 

it was nice to really get to decompress, tho, after all that.  i finished People, watched a Drop Dead Diva marathon, remembered how much i LOVE the show.  : )  went to sonic to try their new strawberry lemonade, after seeing it on nicki's status!  it sounded good, and i had a free drink from a survey, so... it's amaaaazing!  might've found a new favorite drink!  *laugh*  who'm i kidding?  they're all my favorite drinks!  LOL 

i need to go to bed by 11 tonight, because marty's picking me up before 7 in the morning for a meeting.  oh joy!  grrr.  it does irritate me that they schedule these things AN HOUR before my normal work-time.  but, whaddaya do?  get up early & go to it.  LOL 

i know it sounds like my normal life is so boring - reading & tv!  *laugh*  but it makes me happy, with some leyton time & family time & friend time sprinkled in.  and some travel.  voila!  more travel would make me happier, but i work w/ what i got!  : ) 

ttfn!

cookin!

today was my aunt kim's retirement party & it was fun!  she & uncle rick had a cookout at their house to celebrate.  i went down to mom's & we (and leyton) headed over about 4:30. 

no shoes?  no problem!  you've got shades!  : )

leyton even made some new friends, like cousin nathan! 

i know i'm lucky that the majority of my family lives close by so we can do cookouts & christmas & the like!  it's hard when you move away - whether you're moving for work, marriage, or just for a change of pace! - to not have them close at hand.  two cousins come to mind, who have lived out of the country and in AK for 10 and 13 years, respectively.  they love where they live and the lives they live there, but i know they miss coming to the family gatherings, too.  and we miss them at these parties! 

it was nice to visit with those who were able to come.  i mostly hung out w/ leyton, and we were off riding bikes & playing in uncle rick's mancave (no pictures of that, but it was NEAT!  looked like a log cabin, but with modern fridge & tv!) w/ some other cousins.  there were hot dogs & specialties, cake & lemonade, tea & soda.  and beer, mmmm beer.  *laugh*  since i was hanging out w/ leyton, i stuck to tea & soda, tho.  he has a tendency to want to share drinks!  : )  the weather cooperated, even though it was, i believe, in the 80's, there was a nice breeze all day.  i was hot, but not terribly uncomfortable! 

all in all, a wonderfully blessed day!  : ) 

ttfn! 

************

la vida loca

HAPPY 4 YEAR ANNIVERSARY TO ME!!!!!  that's right, 4 years ago today i was hired full time at my job.  i have learned so much in these 4 years, and the job has changed so much!  i'm still fighting to get that change reflected in certain areas.  i'm very blessed to love what i do, to feel like i contribute and like i do have a voice. 

i really did want to go to a movie Friday night, hang out w/ bret, and then go bowling w/ juli & her family.  alas, the day KICKED MY BUTT so that all i wanted to do after work was come home, put on jammies & watch some hulu!  so, i did!  well, i had to go to WM first for tomatoes & meds.  but then home to watch csi miami & ny & eat a yummy salad for dinner & have some chatty times.  : ) 

i had an unexpected meeting yesterday, and it was just funny.  the reactions, the hiccups w/ technology, it was like an episode of the office, only funny!  (sorry, office fans...) 

today i read some ppl & watched ncis & LA & ghost whisperer.  i'm sad that they cancelled GW, but if last night's episode was the series finale, i could be okay with it.  all the cop shows & spy shows i watch really made me think about the life of a spy.  i'm sure it's not go go go alllll the time, but how much creative license is really used?  ya know how ppl are always talking about the "accuracy" of shows like ER & Grey's... and 24 is WAY kooky as far as the spy game goes, but cop shows... how much is real?  any former spies out there wanna weigh in?  ; )  ya know, just the stuff that won't get either of us killed, please! 

i was going to head over to mom's 1/2 an hour ago, but GW went a little longer than i thought (i think i had to pause while i fixed lunch or something), so i'm off soon.  gonna hang out for a bit w/ her & leyton & then i think we're all going over to aunt kim's for her retirement cookout.  should be fun, even tho it's nearly 80 out & i'm more comfortable when it stays in the mid-70's!  heh. 

ttfn! 

Mail & Chili's & Flash Mobs, oh my!

i got $2 in the mail, from the survey company!  along with the booklet i need to fill out for a week about my radio listening.  i'm listening to pandora right now.  bryan adams is singing for forgiveness... i had a friend in college, levi, who looked quite a bit like bryan adams.  i wonder what happened to levi?  he's one of the (sadly large number) men i was very good friends with (i thought) in college, who suddenly disappeared from my life w/ no explanation. 

anywhoo!  that's neither here nor there! 

i did my chicago driver routine this morning & got to work fifteen minutes EARLY and thought to myself - why do i ever get in the right lane on that bridge?  so, we'll try it again tomorrow & see if i'm blessed again!  : ) 

(Peter Cetera sidebar.... "Sometimes I just forget, say things I might regret, Breaks my heart to see you cryin... I don't want to lose you, I could never make it alone... I am a man who will fight for your honor.  I'll be the hero you're dreamin of.  We'll live forever, knowing together that we did it all for the Glory of Love...)  He's amazing!  this peter cetera moment (and karate kid memory) was brought to you by pandora radio.  *grin* 

okay, so if you can't tell, it's very late and i am very loopy.  not that the two are mutually exclusive.  i can certainly be clear headed late at night - or loopy at any time of day!  it's part of my charm.  ; )  today was a very interesting day.  work was normal (busy-normal, which i enjoy) & had lots to keep busy.  ppl were funny today, in a good way, so that was nice.  someone brought in REALLY HOT salsa, and a couple of the managers tried it at the end of the day, and lemme tell you it was fun to watch!  VERY different reactions.  one is not used to spicy things at all & i wish i'd had a camera for the reaction!  the other one eats spicy stuff all the time & loves it, but ate this particular salsa & turned quite red in the face!  blamed it on the a/c.  LOL  (to be fair, it WAS stuffy in the office, so ... )

after work, i met mom & leyton at chili's for dinner.  best loaded baked potato soup!!!  yummy! 

leyton & mom had fun, too, as you can see.  : ) 

when we left, leyton blew me a kiss, it was the cutest thing!  i mean, we blow kisses all the time, but it was just the way he did it - holding his transformers umbrella on his shoulder, idk!  just cute!  : ) 

i got to chat w/ april & joy when i got home, which was nice!  also watched Lost and then got distracted watching Flash Mob videos on youtube.  have you guys heard of these?  a group of kids did one in a local hy vee awhile ago, which was the first i'd heard of the phenomenon.  it's awesome - a group of ppl in a public place just start dancing (or freeze, or do some other random thing) together and then leave like nothing unusual just happened.  *laugh*  check it out for yourself, really! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6VRFsSidIc&feature=related

i like that one because they're not dancers, most of them, and they're from all walks of life!  you can see the grandmotherly type ladies and businessmen and little kids and teenagers... i love it! 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyGn5Bfllz8&feature=related

this one is a random MC Hammer dance, which was just fun! 

there are a TON of michael jackson tribute dances, but some of my favorites were schools. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUdjQ9VV-f4

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m1JU5N1MZhc&feature=related

and finally, the one that started it all for me, the hy vee flash mob.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjT1MycaRCU&feature=related

okay, i know normal ppl don't have time to go to all those links!  *laugh*  but i think they're cool and i like them!  what do you think? 

ttfn!  : )

Bridge(s)

So, today i took the blue bridge, and all was good until...

ayup!  everywhere i turn there is construction and TRAFFIC!  *laugh*

i'm leaving 10 minutes early tomorrow & taking the green bridge & driving like i'm in chicago.  : )

one of these plans has to work, right?  i can't spend the whole summer trapped on the bridges!

once i got thru all the construction & whatnot, today was pretty good.  meetings went well, altho one didn't accomplish much.  one of the main contributers (contributors?) was distracted...

phil very kindly came over & mowed & cut down my tree-like weeds today.  they were almost as tall as me!!!  lol 

got to have some chitty chatty conversations, yay!  also watched Army Wives, GLEEEEEEEE!, V, and a whole lotta OLTL, which was doing a Glee-like thing this week.  actually, more like HSM than glee.  idk how to explain the difference, but if you've seen both then you'll know what i mean.  *laugh* 

ummmm.... i guess if i'm leaving 10 minutes early tomorrow, i should go to sleep.  i really need to start unloading my thoughts earlier in the evening before they've all hidden themselves in the recesses of my ...oh!!! oh ohoh!!!  one thing i must share before i go, tho! 

http://www.universalorlando.com/Home/harrypotter.aspx#

i simply must plan a vacation to orlando.  who's in??  i don't want to ride the coasters alone!! 

ttfn.  : )