blessed to provide blessings

sometimes the Lord allows us to be blessed by blessing others.  our Heavenly Father LOVES us, so much.  thinking about how much He loves us brings tears to my eyes, to be perfectly honest.  thinking about what He gives to me, personally, even tho i'm not perfect.  i'm a sinner, i could need forgiving every single day. i don't set out to need forgiving, but it happens.  and He does, He forgives, every time i ask.  He forgives, and then He provides such blessings!


my plan for today was pretty fluid.  i just knew i needed to return Soul Surfer, and i wanted coffee.  : ) 


i woke up an hour earlier than i'd wanted because of a leg cramp.  an intense leg cramp which started in the dream i was having & continued into my waking!  :(  thank the Lord it stretched out fairly quickly, but made it so i was UP.  (it's still sore right now, many hours later!)  i toasted a bagel thin, added cream cheese, and had a yogurt (potassium!) for breakfast.  read People.  this week's has the September 11th tribute/feature.  hard to believe it has been 10 years.  an entire decade has passed!  and yet, i read that the memorial for flight 93, in PA, has been struggling for funding?  what's that about?  i know the WTC towers were the larger target & whatnot, but COME ON, ppl!  whomever is in charge of memorial funds should be giving a good portion to the PA one.  in my opinion, of course.


anywhoo.  mom called to see if i wanted to play cards.  i wasn't sure.  i mean, it's just so NICE to have peace & quiet... but i hadn't seen grammy in awhile to play cards, and i felt like i should go.  i did want to finish burn notice first, tho.  i'd missed my michael weston fix!  : )  i may have watched another episode of neal as well.  i can't remember if that was today or yesterday.  LOL  


i headed to grammy's & stopped for coffee on the way.  : )  YUM...!  the game was intense and fun and grammy accidentally hit her life alert buzzer in her excitement over a hand she had.  *laugh*  her life alert thing started buzzing & then said "help has been called."  we all looked at each other like, "what?"  heh.  i noticed where her hands were at & said, "oh, she accidentally hit it!"  so when the dude came on the line, grammy apologized & he said he was happy she was okay.  : )  


i proceeded to win by 2000 points.  : )  wooohoo!  


mom & i left to head to her house for some big brother fun.  instead of going straight to mom's, i stopped at kwik shop for a fountain soda.  when i pulled in, i saw a group of kids sitting in front, looking fairly dirty & whatnot.  i say kids, but they were probably early 20's (man, i'm old!).  i went in for my soda & a cheese stick.  talked w/ the cashier - he's a former army ranger, so we chatted a bit.  when i left, i said hi to the group outside.  one guy asked for a favor & i said, "i'm sorry, i can't, but be safe!"  and they said that's okay & thanked me for being nice about it.  i was like, "are ppl NOT nice about it??"  and we talked for a second.  then i left.  


as i was driving, i just felt prompted to pray for them, for their safety & that someone would be able to help them - they had a dog w/ them & had said they just wanted to get her some food.  so i just had the thought that i was sorry i didn't have enough cash on me to help them out, but then - and i truly think the Lord gave me the thought - i thought that i could write a check & get some dog food.  


so i turned around & went back.  as i approached the kwik shop, i got a tingle of anxiety.  how was it going to look, my going back?  would they be grateful or would i seem a crazy old broad, coming back?  would there still be a parking space?  i didn't let the anxiety get to me (again, thank You, Lord) and there was ONE spot left in the lot.  i parked & went back over to the group & said, "i'm back!  i don't have any cash, but i can go in & buy some dog food, if you'd like?"  


they were all very nice & a few of them went in w/ me to pick out the dog food.  i told them they should get something for themselves, as well, so they got hot dogs for everyone, and some tea and coffee.  i tried to get them to pick some fruit & chips & whatever else, but they didn't want to buy too much.  as we chatted, i learned that they were riding the rails.  they'd just disembarked & were trying to get some food for the puppy before jumping on the train to minnesota or north dakota.  


i felt so blessed to have been able to bless their evening a little bit.  and i'll have to tell leyton i met some ppl who ride on trains all the time.  heh.  i missed 15 minutes of big brother, but it wouldn't have mattered if i'd missed the whole thing.  helping these kids out, in the little way i could, was worth anything!  and i thought of brandee, and her experience with the rail kids.  (you have to scroll down because for some reason i cannot link to the separate post!)  this blog post of hers inspired me, along with the fact that my grandpa used to ride the rails.  i think he would take my cousins sometimes.  they have stories.  i'll have to ask!  : )  


i pray that the group of 6 are okay tonight as they ride those rails to minnesota or north dakota.  i pray that their gluten-allergic puppy will take to the food we bought okay, and that everyone gets a good night's sleep with full tummies.  i pray that they will bless others on their journey as they blessed me, and that the Lord will make Himself a presence in their lives.  


i pray that you will be blessed to bless someone today.  : )  


oh, and i did make it to mom's for BB.  was a lovely put-together episode.  and nice to hang out w/ mom!  we might go see a movie tomorrow.  i came home & ate grilled chicken for dinner & watched The Protector.  now i'm going to watch AGT before bed.  


TTFN!  : )  

blessings!!!

once again i have waited too long to start writing my blog & i must go to sleep.  


i am grateful today...


For the laughter had at work.  


For spending time w/ Leyton & Mom & The Cow.


For getting to chat w/ April for 40 minutes instead of 20.  ; )  


For buying Burn Notice season 1 on dvd for $15.


For Twix.


For Adolph's salsa, oh my goodness!!!  : )  also, that they sell it in 16 oz containers so i can bring it home & eat it for 3 days on things like chips & baked potatoes.  


That I didn't run out of gas on the bridge.  there was a dude on the side of the road, on the bridge, and i stopped (hey, traffic wasn't going anywhere!) next to him to see if he was okay.  he said he was waiting for his friend, and he was okay, and so i drove on.  i hope i wasn't the only one to stop & ask if he needed a ride.  


Also, that I had this to listen to: 

And this view... it was a really pretty day!  i hope it was pretty in wisconsin for trish & her family.  they had water park tickets!!  

For WM and the lovely groceries they have to offer!  


For mi familia.  


For my Savior.


For my country - even tho i don't like it sometimes & want to move to canada.  i'm grateful for the opportunity of freedom.  


For my dad.  


http://dearleyton.blogspot.com/2011/06/fathers-day-letter-to-grandpa-bill.html

Hope your day was super extra fun!  


ttfn!

God is GREAT !!!!

seriously, seriously thankful!  


this morning was interesting - i thought the dealership service dept opened at 7, so i got up & called - no answer.  i made some breakfast, hopped online, and called again.  got an answer at the main switch board, and she switched me back to service - no answer.  i waited 5 minutes & called back.  transferred to the service dept. & bill answers.  we chat about the car & what i need to do.  he sends me back to the front, to be transferred to the collision center.  no answer.  i call back to the front - by this point, i've introduced myself to kathy at the main switchboard, and she recognizes my number on caller ID, saying "Hi Carrie."  : )  she transfers me again, no answer.  so i wait 1/2 an hour & call back, kathy transfers me, and i get rachel at the collision center!


i get squared away there, she helps me out w/ enterprise, enterprise helps me out right back.  you see, i don't have a credit card.  the rental agency doesn't take cash or checks, and there's a $200 deposit for money orders.  (?!?!?!)  i don't have $200 to give to enterprise for 3 days!  i'm a repeat customer for pete's sakes!  i understand the necessity of a security deposit when you don't know who has your car, but ... come on!  anyway, patrick likely felt that way, too, because he worked it out w/ rachel that i would pay the collision center & they would PO enterprise for the car.  SWEET!  i have to say, that was EXCELLENT customer service on both patrick and rachel's parts.  thank you to both places of business for allowing that level of service to be extended!!!  : )  


after all the phone calls (and one to mom), i headed out, and by this time it was about 9.  i stopped at the bank to get cash to pay for the car & then on to the collision center.  they were efficient in their estimate, and while i waited in the very comfortable waiting area, i created an event for dinner w/ my friend anna & a group of our friends, to welcome her back to the area!  woot woot!  they got me all set  to go (total repairs, $300+.  thank God for my $250 deductible!) & enterprise picked me up.


my rental car is a honda civic, i believe.  i've named him steely dan, because he is a really neat gunmetal gray.  he's comfy & sleek & i do enjoy driving him.  but his power windows are a bit odd, and i look forward to having chloe back!  


stopped at the bucks for a vanilla chai (because patrick had a chai on his desk & it sounded really good!) and i gave in to a tiramisu cake pop.  ... ... ... umm.  i have several friends who really enjoy these, so i'm sorry... i just did not!  i mean, it was okay, it wasn't awful or anything like that.  it's just that around st patrick's day, someone at work made cake pops.  and their pops were GOOOD.  and they were the first ones i'd ever had, so they're kinda my standard.  the bucks did not meet my standard today.  :  (   ah well, at least the chai was delicious!  


i got to work at 10:30 & it was non-stop crazy.  plus cut off for claims!  and everyone wanted/needed help w/ something NOW.  *laugh*  thankfully, i was prepared (mostly), and got all the claims in by 4 so i could work vacations & then get outta there at 4:30, to meet aunt jan at 5 for dinner!  hooray, God!  : )  


met auntie at a local pizza place for DELICIOUS pizza, buffet style!  : )  they also have kick-butt meatballs & marinara sauce!  mmmmm!  we had so much fun catching up, and she brought pictures of their vacation.  oh my heck, GORGEOUS lakes!!  i wanna go - they're so big and clear and beautiful!!  she very kindly treated me to dinner, and gave me a thank-you card & thank-you gift for helping out last month - PRAISE THE LORD - the amount will cover my deductible and give me something to add to savings.  nice!!  (savings, Lord willing, which will be used for my trip to omaha over memorial day for joy's family reunion!! *grin*)


ahhhh.  we finally had to leave & get home, but it was a fairly long visit, and did i mention fun?  lol  


when i got home, i chatted w/ april for a bit (please keep her in prayer as she's had a monster headache/migraine this week) & watched a really awesome episode of celebrity apprentice (go john rich!!  go marlee matlin!!!) & wrote micaela a letter.  happy happy evening!  oh, there might've been some Walker in there, as well.  lol  it was getting frustrating to watch apprentice cuz my computer kept randomly shutting down.  botheration.  gonna hafta call the Geek Squad!  only if one of them could be Chuck from the Nerd Herd... ; )  


erin called & we chatted about GH & whatnot, and made plans to hang out & see Arthur (if it's out) next weekend.  woot!!!  : )  


and now, BED is calling!  heh.  i leave you w/ a nifty postcrossing from Germany... i like to call it, "the monkey on my back isn't so much a monkey..."

love ya, bloggity peeps!  ttfn!! 

blessings and monotony

sometimes i get caught up in the monotony of my life.  the ennui that i've mentioned before grips me and i feel like i SHOULD be happy, but i'm not.  i think the not-happy feeling is just part of a depression that is always under the surface.  it's something i fight against. 

my weapon of choice is to remember the blessings.  when i'm feeling overwhelmed at work - like this week, yesterday especially! - i praise the Lord for my job, for the enjoyment i get from my job. i praise Him for the opportunities, the puzzles i get to solve, the ppl i've met and get to connect with... and yes, having a paycheck is a blessing! 

i don't want to take the blessings for granted.  i have lived hardship, but even my  hardship compared to others' was not that bad.  sometimes living in my own head is hard, but not as hard as someone who struggles with suicidal thoughts, you know?  each of us, no matter how blessed or how happy, has something to struggle with.  it's part of life, and it's a part i'm grateful for (mostly! lol).  without the struggle, life really WOULD be monotonous.  we would become like the illegal immigrants i spoke of the other day, feeling entitled to things we didn't have to work for.  which is not to say i think everyone should have to work for everything all of the time.  i said the struggle was PART of life, not the whole kit & kaboodle! 

as i said this week has been particularly trying for me, mentally exhausting, not just at work.  things swirl around in my head (financial, medical, family, friends, country, world) that i just have to pray thru because there's no other way around it.  i don't have an answer for how to handle some things, and i just have to turn to the Lord and say, "Please."  i beg for healing, for strength, for wisdom, for patience, for trust - those last two are usually pretty easy for me, but some days ... some days i crack a little insdie. 

the prayers - along with the writing - keep me sane.  talking to the Lord, knowing in my heart that He hears me and cares about me, trusting Him that even if the answer is "not now" He is listening to my daily prayers and His heart feels what i'm feeling. 

(i don't think i've shared this story here before, but if i have, sorry for the repeat!)  i have an acquaintance, someone i just reconnected with after many years, who is catholic.  we were talking about prayer (she makes rosaries, beautiful rosaries!), and how she loves knowing that she is helping to get prayer beads into ppl's hands.  i love that!  i love the rosary.  i love the prayers - yes, even the prayers to mary.  i don't know quite how i feel about "praying" to mary, so much, but i like the prayer itself.  if that makes any sense at all to anyone outside myself, i do not know!!  one thing that my friend said, however, that i really struggle with, is her belief that they pray to mary because she intercedes btwn us and Jesus, and He can't say no to His mother.  this ... i was going to say "disturbed me" but i'm not sure that's the correct sentiment.  it unsettled me, because it's my belief that we don't need an intercessory between us and Jesus.  Jesus is our intercessor btwn us and our Father.  we can appeal directly to God the Father, but no one can get to the Father but thru the Son.  that's a biblical truth.  i don't recall anywhere in the Bible, it talking about anyone needing to go to Jesus on behalf of anyone else.  do you see what i'm saying? 

now, i'm not saying that's the way all catholics look at prayers to mary, or even that my friend's way of thinking is wrong.  there's a whole "prayer to the saints" tangent as well, but i don't know enough about beliefs on that - my aunt judy & i discussed it once, and i remember thinking that the way she explained it made sense, sort of, but now i can't remember what that explanation was!  (i'm having dinner w/ her & jenni on wednesday, i'll have to ask again!)  prayer is a personal thing, a private thing unless you are praying in agreement with someone, as in someone sharing a request for prayer.  so, for that reason, i don't think i would say ANY form of prayer was wrong. 

wow.  as usual, when my thoughts get going and communicate with my fingers, i've written a whole post that is completely different from where i thought i was going when i started - but it fits so well just the same!! 

last night my computer wouldn't let me upload photos, so i'm going to attempt to share some of yesterday's outdoor fun w/ leyton in a new post.  see you soon!  : )