scenario 1a: clean cut girl comes into a restaurant alone, and she has obviously been beaten recently. she is covered in bruises and healing cuts. she sits at a table and begins to look over the menu, but she has the air of being upset.
question 1: would you approach her? would you ask her if she's okay, make sure everything is alright with her?
scenario 1b: her boyfriend comes in and joins her at the table. he begins to loudly berate her about everything from her clothing to the fact that she hasn't ordered his breakfast yet.
question 2: do you approach them now, as a couple, seeing his ire?
question 3a: if you approach, what do you say?
question 3b: do you speak with the woman - ask her if she wants to leave, ask her if she is okay, etc., or the man - ask him why he's speaking to her like that, if he is the one who caused the bruises?
would your answers change if the woman was in a low cut top or "provacatively dressed" as opposed to being modestly dressed? why or why not?
on the show, the women were approached by good samaritins when they were dressed conservatively, but wearing low-cut tops, not so much. the psychologist on the show predicted that result. why? do we, as a society, really feel that women who dress "wrong" deserve to be abused? WTH? one of the customers at the restaurant even made a comment that the girl who was dressed in the low-cut dress was probably a hooker & did some work for the man on the side. okay... so that makes it alright to beat her? *shocked*
now, my first thought was - how could anyone see this & not say anything?? which is a good "carrie wants to help everyone by showing the love of the Lord" attitude.
however...
have you ever had friend in abusive relationships? have you tried to tell THEM that what their gf/bf is doing is wrong and they are better than that and they don't have to take the verbal/mental/physical abuse? did they leave their abuser? knowing that you were there to support them no matter what - did they leave? did you ever say anything, even offhandedly, to their abuser? this is a friend or family member, i'm talking about. someone that you see on a regular basis, or talk to and hear about the behavior of their significant other. someone you know.
because if you step in btwn a victim and their abuser, and they leave with that abuser, chances are the abuse is going to be worse than if you hadn't stepped in. is that something you would be thinking of, and would it stop you from stepping in?
if you decided to step into this situation, how far would you be willing to go, for a stranger in a restaurant? on the show, the ppl who are standing up for them are told pretty quickly that it's an experiment & no one is being abused at this time. but in a real life situation - if you stand up for a woman being abused in public, are you willing to help her get away from her abuser? are you willing to take her out of the situation, if she wants your help? are you willing to accept that she wants to stay with him, if that's her choice?
based on other situations i've been in, because i've never been in THAT particular situation in a public place, i'm pretty sure the abused woman would be living in my spare bedroom by the end of that day, with a restraining order on her abuser and my brother & cousin & friends helping to move her stuff from their home. i'd worry about the rest later. *laugh* but that's because i tend to help first and think later. it's not always a PLUS, trust me. but if getting away was what she wanted to do, and i provided her a vehicle to do so? it'd be worth it.
anyway, do share - What WOULD You Do?
ttfn.
No comments:
Post a Comment